The Celestial Cavalry
by Fullmetal Wetback
Summary: It happened. Percy became a god. Now watch as he tries to manage a camp full of demigods, woo the eternal maiden, and ride across the heavens with his Celestial Cavalry. Eventual Percy/Artemis, along with copious amounts of Leo/Piper thrown into the mix. And also, y'know, Chaos and Primordials and shit, too.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So, I've been reading a lot of Percy Jackson fiction lately, and the pairing that seems to pop out to me the most is Percy/Artemis. The good news is that it's a really good pairing. The bad news is that most Pertemis fics are practically a carbon copy of one of three or four storylines, with the same clichéd stuff. So I decided that I'd make yet another one of these stories, with a bit of a twist to them. Percy's a pothead. Yeah. I just went there. And, like most of the other Pertemis fics I've read, Percy forms an all-male group of immortal dudes in direct opposition to the Hunters of Artemis, only they are true bachelors, without that lame forswearing of romantic involvement with the fairer sex, and Percy doesn't go for that riddiculous virgin god thing. Seriously? If I were made into a Greek god, my cabin at Camp Half-Blood would be full by the end of the day, and yes, I know that's chronologically impossible. But whatever, here's the first chapter, if you wanna read it.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own shit. That's the beginning and the end of it. The middle had me owning much more than simply shit, but that's a story for another day...

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Chapter 1: Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?

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Hey there. Nice to meet'cha. Who am I? Oh, I'm nobody. Just the dude who pretty much saved all of Western Civilization from crumbling down to the ground. I'm the guy who found the stolen sacred symbols of the Big Three. That kid that tricked the cyclops Polyphemus out of the Golden Fleece and brought Thalia Grace back from the dead, even though she _still_ hasn't thanked me for it (rude). I prevented the return of the big bad buff titan Atlas, I was able to safely navigate the legendary Labyrinth, and I helped take down the Lord of Time himself, Kronos.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though. I'm Percy. Well...Perseus Jackson, but you can call me Percy. I've been able to do weird things, like make plants grow super-quickly, or get water to bend to my will.

When I was twelve, I was attacked by this crazy math teacher who turned out to be what amounts to a demon from hell. Yeah. Stuff like that happens to me a lot. Anyhow, a few days afterwards, I learned that my mom, Sally Jackson, had shacked up with a god, my best friend Grover was a half-goat, half-man creature, and there was a whole camp full of demigods on Long Island, where my former Latin teacher (who also happens to be the immortal centaur, Chiron), is the activities director and Dionysus, Greek god of wine, is the camp councelor. During the whole mad dash to Camp Half-Blood, Grover, my mom, and I got attacked by the Minotaur. I managed to defeat the sucker and break off one of his horns, which I promptly bugged Charles Beckendorff, son of Hephaestos, into turning into a bong. As it happens, my godly father turned out to be the sea god, Poseidon, which made me a candidate to be the 'child of prophecy' (cue dramatic music).

Anyway, the king god, Zeus, had apparently misplaced his big ol' thunderbolt thingy, my dad had lost his trident, and Hades' Helm of Darkness was nowhere to be found. So naturally, everyone blamed me.

So I went on this crazy quest across the United States to find it with Grover and a new friend of mine, Annabeth Chase, a daughter of Athena, with a few gifts from another new friend, Luke Castellan, a son of Hermes.

After all sorts of misadventures and shennanigans involving the mother of all monsters, a lady with snakes for hair, a god of war, and a rather unsettling boat ride, it turned out that Luke was a traitorous ass, Ares was in on it, and they set me up to take the blame for the thefts _and_ to resurrect Kronos, king of the titans, from the depths of Tartarus. A short battle against Ares and a plane ride later, the three symbols of power were back in their owners hands, and I'm a hero.

Not a year after that, I discovered that Grover was missing, my half-brother is a baby cyclops named Tyson, somebody had poisoned the guardian pine tree that protects Camp Half-Blood's borders, and the only way to save the day is to retrieve the fabled Golden Fleece from the Sea of Monsters. Only problem with that was that Chiron got blamed for the sabotage, and I'd been forbidden from going on the quest by our new director, the biggest douchebag (with a capital 'D') in history, Tantalus.

But Grover, who was being forced to marry the one-eyed giant named Polyphemus (gross, I know, right?), who just so happened to be in posession of the Golden Fleece at the time. So me and Annabeth embarked on a quest of our own, getting into some trouble in the form of an angry daughter of Ares and her ironclad ship full of dead Confederate soldiers, a pair of monster sisters who suck and blow, respectively, the queen of mean herself, Circe, and the infamous Edward Teach, better known as the greatest pirate of them all, Blackbeard.

After stealing Blackbeard's ship, the _Queen Anne's Revenge_, and finding Polyphemus' island, Tyson, Annabeth, Clarisse (the angry daughter of Ares), and myself managed to subdue Polyphemus with the use of my awesome Minotaur bong and a whole helluva lot of weed. We returned to Camp heroes once more, with the _Revenge._ as my prize, which I promptly renamed _La Suprema Marejada_.

The Golden Fleece cleansed the pine tree of its poison and, miraculously, returned the girl that it was made from to life. Sounds strange, I know, but just go with it. So, the winter after Pinecone Face, better known as Thalia Grace, was restored, she, Annabeth, and me go to retrieve a pair of demigods, only to be ambushed by a manticore and way too many monsters for us to fight alone.

Luckily, the Hunters of Artemis, a group of immortal teenage girls led by Artemis the Hunter, came to our aid. Unluckily, the manticore made off with Annabeth before we could round up all the monsters, and escaped.

The two demigods, Bianca and Nico di Angelo, were pretty cool, and Bianca joined up with the Hunters almost immediately. Artemis slipped off to do whatever it was she did, and a few Hunters, Thalia, and another camper went on a quest to find her and Annabeth. Once again, I was expressly forbidden from accompanying them.

You know I went anyway, with the help of my trusty steed, Blackjack.

After a harrowing few days, during which we lost Bianca to one of Hephaestus' old creations, we managed to make it to Mount Othrys, the place where Atlas held up the sky. Only he wasn't holding it up: Artemis was, and Annabeth was being held by Luke. Luckily, I was able to trick Atlas into a who-can-hold-up-the-sky-longer contest after getting him high as a kite with my trusty Minotaur bong. It was apparent that Kronos was trying to return, and the titans were slowly coming out of the folds.

The year after that, Annabeth, Grover, Tyson, and I took a trip into the Labyrinth in order to stop Luke from using it to find a way into Camp Half-Blood and lead an army of monsters to destroy us. It took a lot of work, and I almost blew myself to Kingdom come, along with a good chunk of Mt. St. Helens, but we eventually managed to bring down the Labyrinth, with the help of its creator, Daedalus. The old inventor died, and I sort of inherited his hellhound, Mrs. O'Leary. The major downside to this adventure, though, was that Kronos had managed to return, posessing Luke's body until such time that he could regain his true form.

From then on, things looked pretty bleak, even for an eternal optimist such as my own sexy-fine self. The titans were making their move, and a lot of the minor deities and a fair few demigods sided with them. Worst of all, though, was the father of all monsters, the one, the only..._**Typhon**_...had escaped his prison under Mt. St. Helens (my bad), and was making his way towards Mount Olympus, which just so happens to be located on the six-hundedth floor of the Empire State Building, destroying everything in his path across America as he went.

With the gods fighting Typhon, the defense of Mount Olympus was up to the demigods remaining at Camp Half-Blood. Nico came up with the idea to dip myself in the River Styx to gain the Curse of Achilles, and in order to do so, I needed my mother's blessing.

When I went to go ask for it, my mom revealed something pretty out there to me: she was an immortal. And not just any immortal, no, my life is too bizarre for that. My mother was the youngest (as in the year nineteen-ten youngest) daughter of Gaea, the mother of the titans.

So after learning to control a bit of my earth-manipulating abilities, I took upon my shoulders the Curse of Achilles, rallied the demigods, and fought like all hell.

I won't go into specifics, but needless to say, we won, they lost, and Kronos' army was no more. Once again, I was the hero. The gods figured that I deserved a little something for saving their collective hide and gave me the chance to become a god.

It's a pretty cool offer, no doubt, but I felt as though I still had a bit of living to do, so I politely declined and got them to give me three no-strings-attached wishes. I used one wish then and there:

_Give the lesser gods a bit more respect, give 'em their own cabins at Camp Half-Blood,_ I said. _And claim all your kids. No more demigods who feel like their parents have abandoned them. That's what started this damn war in the first place._

They didn't like me telling them that, but I had three wishes and they had to grant it. I eventually went back to Camp Half-Blood and started a relationship with Annabeth, who I'd been crushing on for awhile.

Alas, it wasn't to be. She was just too...bookish, and I was just too...well, I was just too Percy for her to deal with and keep her sanity intact. So we sat down, had a chat, and decided that it would be for the best to break off anymore romantic stuff. We're still friends, so that's cool.

After awhile, I got bored, and started hanging out in my dad's underwater palace, where I learned how to really get the hang of my powers. It was really fun, to be honest, and I spent a lot of time with my mom, too, though Dad's wife and legitimate son, Amphirite and Triton, weren't too thrilled (too bad, so sad).

A couple weeks ago, Hermes dropped by with a summons to appear before the Council of Twelve, and so now, here I am, standing in the doorway to the throne room on Mount Olympus, with the Olympians in all their godly glory staring at me solemnly.

"Approach, Perseus Jackson," Zeus rumbles, and I stroll casually toward the U-shaped table, waving to the gods I liked and nodding politely to the ones I didn't.

"What's up, guys?" I ask, giving them my best Percy-smile.

"Son, it's been a couple of years now, since the end of the war," Poseidon began, "but do you remember the offer we gave you as a reward for helping us?"

I nod glibly. "Sure do, Pops. The one where you guys wanted me to become a god and stuff, right?"

He nods, and Apollo picks up where he left off. Apollo's cool. He and I get along like beer and barbecue (that means it's good, if there's a moderate portion of each. Too much beer and the barbecue might end up in flames, too much barbecue and there won't be enough beer). "Well, we still want you to become a god, and we're wondering if you'd like to reconsider."

I think about it. It _has_ been getting a little boring lately; more and more, I find myself thinking, _These mortals have no idea of what's out there_, when I'm out walking the streets. Without any quests, camp's gotten a bit droll, and even hanging out underwater's kinda lost the 'wow' factor it had a few years ago.

I glance at the other gods to see how they feel about the subject. Ares looks like he's about to wet himself; it might have to do with the fact that I whooped his ass in a one-on-one swordfight when I was twelve and he wants revenge, but that's just speculation.

Hades, Athena, Zeus, and Hera all seem to be indifferent on the matter. Apollo, Hephaestos, Aphrodite, and Hermes, all of whom I'm on pretty good terms with, seem a bit excited about the prospect. Dionysus simply looks bored, casting longing glances at the bottle of vintage Italian wine sitting tantalizingly in front of him. Even Demeter looks rather pleased for some reason.

The only Olympian who seems to be against my becoming a god is Artemis, who's fuming silently in her silvery throne. See, a couple years ago, when I fought the titan Atlas, Artemis had been forced to hold up the sky so Atlas could be freed. After my incredibly cunning plan to get the buff titan back under his burden worked, I may or may not have gloated a bit about saving a goddess and asked for a reward. Honestly, I just wanted one of her cool timberwolves, but she must have misinterpreted my simple request as something dirty in her mind and broke my leg. Good times.

But back to my dilemma. Most of the gods seem to be partial to the thought of me becoming one of them, and I _am_ getting tired of a mortal life...

"Now that you mention it," I say, "I think that's not too bad of an idea. Yeah," I nod, talking more to myself than anything, "not too bad of an idea." I stand up straight, nod in what I hope is a dignified manner, and state in a clear voice, "Make me a god."

"Only problem is," Apollo adds while Zeus begins to chant in Greek much faster than my ADHD brain can comprehend, "you just used your second wish."

Damn. I knew there would be some sort of catch. Damn gods.

While I curse the deities for their sneakiness, I fail to notice as Zeus stands from his throne, transports himself directly in front of me, and offers his hand, which is holding a mostly full chalice of bronze.

"Drink this, Perseus Jackson," Zeus says. I look down into the goblet, watching as the viscuous, golden liquid within and have a sneaking suspicion that this might just be the ichor of the gods.

"There's not another way to do this, is there?" I ask, glaring dubiously at the liquid. Zeus actually smiles.

"Not unless you want to join the Hunters of Artemis," he chuckles, causing Artemis' expression to sour further.

Sighing, I plug my nose and down the stuff as quickly as possible. There's an incredible half-second where it seems as though nothing happened, and I reflect on the iron tang lingering on my tongue.

"I don't feel any-" I start, but then a blast of pure, unadulterated _power_ explodes from somewhere in the region of my stomach. I try to cry out, but I'm unable to do anything but feel the exhilerating, wild energy singing through my veins.

In a detatched sort of way, I feel my feet leave solid ground as the godly aura lifts me into the air, and a screeching wail that I belatedly, and embarrassedly, realize that it's coming from my mouth. Using all the willpower I can muster while under such an intense metamorphosis, I manage to cut off the noise and grit my teeth for the rest of what seems like an eternity.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the energy seems to just seep out of my body, and my feet touch down on the throne-room floor. I open my eyes hesitantly, and the first thing that I notice is that the room, and it's occupants seem to have shrunk.

"Did-" I start uncertainly, "did you guys get smaller?" Many of the gods crack smiles, Dad and Apollo burst into laughter, and Artemis face-palms with an accompanying sigh of exasperation.

Poseidon stands to move beside his younger brother, putting a hand on my shoulder. "No, son. You just had a growth spurt."

I'm ashamed to admit that it takes me a few moments to understand. "So...the whole make-me-a-god thing worked?"

Dionysus scoffs. "Dear me, we may have made a mistake in allowing someone as dim as Parnasus to become a god."

"Oh, and one other thing..." Apollo says, wearing a mischievous grin that I can't say gives me a good feeling.

"And what is that?" I ask, steeling myself for the worst. I'm surprised when Demeter stands up, causing Hades to grimace.

"Young Perseus, I want you to take my throne on the Olympian Council," she says, much to my astonishment. "See, I do believe my time on the council has run its course, and since my daughter has refused to succeed me, I want you to become the god of the earth."

I wait for three 'River-Styx' before saying the only thing on my mind at the moment. "Huh?"

Apollo's suddenly at my side, an arm around my shoulder as he leads me to the side. "You see, Percy, when we won the first Titan War, Dad, my two uncles, and my aunt split the world up. Zeus got the skies, Poseidon got the seas, and Hades got the Underworld. Demeter took the responsibility of the dry places, but now that she's retiring, and since you're the only grandson of Gaea that actually _has_ power over the earth, the Olympians have decided to give you the land as your domain."

"So what'll happen to you, Demeter?" I ask, confused as to how this would work.

"You won't have to worry about changing the seasons and whatnot," she assures me. "But you will need to deal with Council business. I'll just live with my dear daughter and her husband." At this, Hades groans and mutters something about oatmeal for the rest of eternity.

"Well, I suppose that's that, huh?" I say. "Um, so how do we do this?"

"All you need to do is formally accept my throne, there'll probably be a big flash of light, and then the Fates will whisper to you your godly attributes," Demeter explains.

"'Kay then," I nod. "I, Perseus Jackson, hereby accept the title 'God of the Earth,' and claim Demeter's throne on the Council of Twelve." As expected, there's a brief blast of blinding light, and then suddenly I'm sitting in an enormous green beanbag chair where Demeter's topiary rosebush throne used to be, right between Poseidon's and Artemis' throne.

Dad nods approvingly from his deep-sea fishing chair. "Nice choice of throne, boy," he says. "I should've thought of that..."

But I'm not listening. I feel a chill creep up my spine, and a voice whispers into my ear. And judging by the other gods' sudden stiffening in their thrones, I'm guessing they can hear it, too.

"_All hail Perseus Jackson_," it said in an ancient, feminine voice not dissimilar to the Oracle of Delphi's, "_Lord of the Earth and Beasts, Bringer of the Tides and Harvest, Patron of Heroes and Bachelors, and Purveyor of Loyalty and Peace_."

"Don't forget being awesome," I can't help but blurt out, and I catch a sense of amusement from the presence of the Fates.

"..._and God of Being Awesome_," the voice whispers. The tingly shiver vanishes, and everyone relaxes visibly.

"Well," I say into the silence that follows. "I think that I just might be pretty damn cool."

Most of the gods laugh outright, Hephaestos is nodding in a sort of agreeing manner, and Artemis starts banging her forehead on the marble table before her.

"I think we're just about done here," Zeus says, to which the others agree, for the most part.

"Don't I need to pick my sacred symbols or whatever?" I inquire politely, and the other gods realize that this is true.

"Very well, you shall choose a sacred animal, a sacred plant, a sacred place, and your symbol of power," Zeus says, listing off the various things.

"Well the sacred plant's a no-brainer," I state, concentrating on a mental image of my favorite plant in the world. I force a bit of power into the thought, and suddenly, a marijuana plant appears in front of me. "_Cannabis sativa indica_," I explain, smug that I was actually able to pull that off. "The marijuana plant be the plant sacred fer me, I tell you what."

"So it shall be," Zeus intoned with a nod.

"Next, since I'm apparently god of loyalty, my sacred animal should have a strong sense of it." This time, I let loose a high-pitched whistle, and in no time at all, Mrs. O' Leary emerges from the shadowy void, and drops me out of my beanbag.

"That is a hellhound," Athena points out. Good detective skills, goddess of wisdom; way to point out the obvious.

"It most certainly is," I say, almost tempted to say, 'no shit, Sherlock.' I manage to get to my knees and start rubbing Mrs. O' Leary's belly. "Who's a good hellhound? You're a good hellhound, Mrs. O'Leary, yes you are!" I coo to the hellhound, who's about the size of a Labrador compared to my new height.

"Hellhounds are monsters, and as such, cannot be a sacred animal to a god," Zeus says, and Mrs. O'Leary whimpers sadly. "Not that _you're_ a monster, just most of them," he assures the hellhound, who seems marginally mollified.

"So how about just a domestic doggie?" I ask, willing a fair-sized mixed-breed into existence, looking like a chihuahua next to Mrs. O'Leary.

"Very well," Zeus says. "That is an acceptable choice."

Next up is sacred places. I _could_ go with Manhattan, but I don't think that would reflect well on me, since I'm the god of peace, not the god of insanity. That's Dionysus. So instead, I say, "I want Camp Half-Blood to be my sacred place. It's my home away from home, and since I'm god of heroes, it kinda makes sense, right?"

"So it shall be," Zeus says. "That only leaves your symbol of power. Choose the icon of your being wisely, Perseus."

I start to go with Anaklusmos, but it wouldn't be fitting; god of peace and all that. Then I get hit by an idea and pull my Minotaur horn bong out of the ether and hold it up to the light dramatically. "This shall be my symbol of power," I announce, donning my movie trailer announcer voice. "The Bong...of...DESTINY!"

There's a moment of awkward silence before I hear a strange snorting sound to my immediate left. Everyone turns to Artemis, who's trying desperately to hold in laughter, which is trying desperately to escape. Unfortunately for her, she glances my way for the briefest of moments, and whatever expression is on my face (probably baffled bewilderment) breaks whatever control she has on her giggles, and she explodes into a fit of hysterics.

"You're...such...a...failure," she gasps at me between bouts of chuckles as she holds her belly.

I turn back to the rest of the gods and inquire, "Is that...uh, _normal_?" Their expressions tell me that it is not, in fact, normal for the normally stoic goddess of the moon to descend into uncontrollable laughter.

"...on that note," Zeus eventually says, "I believe that this session of the Council of Twelve is over. Meeting adjourned."

In seconds, all the Olympians had vanished, except for myself and Poseidon, who grins at me. "Welcome to the wonderful world of immortality, son," he spouts proudly, rising from his throne. I follow suit, and he gestures toward the door. "You've got a lot to learn about being a god. Luckily for us, gods live almost indefinitely."

Smiling glibly, I nod. "So what's first on the agenda?"

"Well, since you've already mastered the water and earth manipulation powers granted to you by your godly parents," Poseidon starts, "I figure we can work on the general godly abilities, like generating things from nowhere, transporting yourself across the planet, enchanting objects with various magical powers, things like that. We also need to figure out a way for you to reign in that aura of yours."

"Huh?"

"You're releasing a relaxing aura of some sort," he explains, gesturing vaguely to the air around us. "It's like the aura that Ares has, except it seems to be the exact opposite of his anger-inducing one."

I hadn't noticed, but now that I think about it, I doubt Artemis would've burst into laughter without some sort of super-godly power. Nice.

"Well, we should probably start pretty soon, eh?" I say, nudging my dad with an elbow and grinning. "I've got an whole eternity to live, and I wanna start as soon as I can."

"That's the spirit!" Poseidon rumbles with a hearty chuckle. "Now, let's get going to Atlantica. You've got a ways to go before you can take over for Dionysus at Camp Half-Blood."

And with that, he grasps my shoulder and teleports us both to his underwater city.

**A/N: **So there's the first chapter of my PJ and the Os fanfiction. If you have any questions, comments, or if you just wanna talk shit about my crappy writing, feel free to drop a review. Flames will be laughed at and then used to spark my weed, while well-thought out comments will be answered promptly and politely. Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts, and I hope to see you soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I am loving the response to this fanfiction! Sorry I haven't been around lately, but I've had a lot on my plate recently, such as meeting my father for the first time in twenty years, as well as the rest of my family. I swear, I've had a constant stream of siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts, and other relatives to meet and enjoy time with for close to three months already. It's awesome, but time-consuming, and I haven't had any time to write for about that long. So I apologize.

But anyway, I've decided to include the HoO series in this fanfiction because I want Leo to be in this fic. He's my favorite character so far...might change after Mark of Athena, but I don't think it will. Anyway, here it is!

**Disclaimer: **I own naught but my own posessions.

Chapter 2: The Battle for Olympus

So right now, godhood isn't looking too good.

Hera came up with some harebrained scheme that involved getting the Greek Camp Halfblood and the Roman Camp Jupiter to form an alliance and take on the Giants, a race of BAMFs who were spawned by my grandmother, Gaea, for the sole purpose of taking out the gods and getting revenge for the Titans' downfall. Her plan did work somewhat, as we've got a whole army of demigods, both Greek and Roman, to fight against the host of monsters and Earthborn the Giants have gathered.

Only downside is that, at the moment, that army of half-bloods and all the gods are fighting a losing battle on the very slopes of the true Mount Olympus. No matter how many monsters are destroyed, they reform battle-ready in mere minutes afterwards, and Gaea, with her supreme powers over the ground below us, keeps hindering the earth-bound Olympian fighters, making it harder for them to move.

As I blast the ever-living shit out of the Minotaur for what has to be the millionth time, I watch as Polyphemus, head of the Giants' army, begins hurling bolts of lightning at the mountain which is the gods' ancestral home, destroying good chunks of it with each strike.

Now, seeing as how I'm a new god, dear old gran-gran didn't have time to create a Giant specifically designed to combat me, I'm a free agent to do what I please in this battle. So, after sending a scything burst of icicle spears at the phalanx of Hyperboreans trying to charge me, I fling myself toward the king of the Giants and give him a dead-leg to remember.

Howling in pained fury, Porphyrion rounds on me, his rather unorthodox spear swinging at the space I'd been moments ago.

"You will regret that, whelp!" he roars at me, hurling bolt after bolt of super-charged energy at me, while I dodge, duck, dip, dive, and...dodge my way around them while taking the minute opportunities between to open up a few nasty cuts with Riptide. They leak a bit of golden ichor before closing up moments after I create them, making me snarl in frustration.

"Quit leaching off Gaea, Momma's boy!" I snap, unleashing a torrent of water into his midsection, doubling him up for just enough time to allow me to drive my knee straight into his nose.

Ichor spills from his nostrils for several seconds before subsiding. I feel the ground around me begin to creep up my legs, but with an annoyed stomp, I quell my domain and push off into the air. It may be a bit spiteful on my part, but I conjure up a grand piano above Porphyrion, which drops onto his head, shattering on impact. It did basically nothing to him, but I feel just a little better because of it.

Removing the wood and ivory debris with a swipe of his massive hand, Porphyrion looses an expanding shockwave that scorches the ground as it passes. I quickly create a U-shaped stream of water and loop it around myself so I'm standing in the middle of the dip. The lightning strikes the leading end of the hyper-conductive substance, flowing into the water. I send the other end straight at Porphyrion, and the electricity follows the path I laid for it, slamming into the Giant king and sending him flying back.

To my surprise (and chagrin), he regains his feet quickly, laughing as he does. "Stupid child! I was born to vanquish Zeus! Lightning does not affect me at all!"

His laughter is cut short when a silver arrow fletched with the feathers of a swan seemingly sprouts from the side of his head. He screams in rage and pulls it out as Artemis the Huntress appears by my side and murmurs, "Arrows seem to have the desired effect."

"Hey, Arty! I was wondering when you'd show up!" I pipe up with a grin. "How was your fight with Gration?"

Her bow connects solidly with the back of my head. "I was obviously the victor, as I am still alive," she answers curtly. "And my name is _Artemis_, not _Arty_." Methinks she doth protest too much, no?

"I know," I answer back. "I saw Piper charmspeak that dumbass just long enough for you to plant an arrow in his neck. Wonderful shot, by the way."

"Of course it was a wonderful shot. It was I who loosed the arrow, after all."

Rolling my eyes, I say, "How about we finish off this ass-hat before anything else, shall we?"

"We shall," Artemis agrees, nocking an arrow faster than the blink of an eye. My grin turns into a smirk as I ready Riptide and charge the Giant.

This time, the battle is definitely one-sided. Now, every time Porphyrion tries to attack with his ranged lightning attacks, he is interrupted by Artemis' arrows, and these pauses are enough for me to cut into him. But he's too quick for me to land a serious blow, and all the wounds I am able to inflict only heal a few moments afterward.

Just as Artemis managed to embed an arrow directly into Porphyrion's forehead, the ground shakes violently, and a portion of Olympus crumbles, separating me from Porphyrion and the stone shelf Artemis is utilizing as a sniping point.

I try to move, but the ground beneath me becomes quicksand, and as I struggle against Gaea's overwhelming power with my own comparitively weak control, I see Porphyrion charge up his most powerful energy bolt yet and send it hurdling through the air toward Artemis.

She begins to move, but Gaea holds her fast, and she is unable to dodge or otherwise move out of the way.

As I see the raging stream of pure power heading towards Artemis, something in me snaps, and somehow, miraculously, I feel Gaea's power wane at an alarming rate. I quickly grasp my control over the ground and snap it like I'm shaking off a rug.

A sharp rumble fills the air, and the earth around us rolls forward like a tidal wave and crushes a large portion of the monster army. But I'm not looking that way. I'm already moving toward Artemis.

With all the speed granted to my by my godliness, I just manage to place myself between the goddess and the bolt, which strikes me in the chest and sends me crashing into Olympus, causing yet another rockslide.

My last thought before the darkness overtakes me is, _Oh, she owes me big-time for this..._

**[THIS IS A PAGE-BREAK] **ARTEMIS

The foolish idiot! How dare he take the deadly bolt for me, as though I were some helpless damsel to rescue? Not that I am ungrateful (far from it, to be truthful), but I do _not_ need to be taken care of, least of all by a _man..._

The forces of Olympus, having been given a brief respite by the wave of land Perseus had created before his...actions, groan in dismay upon witnessing one of the strongest fighters brought low.

At first, some believe that he's just down for a bit, but I think otherwise. For Olympus' sake, half the mountain fell on him. If he's alive after taking a fully-charged energy blast from the Giant King and being buried under Mount Olympus, then I'll be very impressed.

After the initial shock wears off, the idiot's ex-girlfriend, the daughter of Athena called Annabeth, rallies the demigod troops, and screams bloody defiance toward the Giants and their forces.

"FOR PERCY!" she calls, and the demigods, both Roman and Greek, echo her caterwaul and charge forward in a living wall of righteous fury, colliding with the monster army with renewed vigor.

Polyphemus strikes out at me once more, and I leap away, creating distance between us so as to keep out of reach of his terrible strength.

Against Gration, I had a difficult enough time surviving. But fighting Porphyrion, King of the Giants, is borderline suicide. This is the reason I felt it necessary to come to the aid of the God of Fools and Idiots.

Firing arrow after arrow at the easy target of Porphyrion's head, I wish I had someone to pray to for protection.

**[THIS IS ALSO A PAGE-BREAK] **PERCY

Note to self: never jump in front of a bolt of lightning, no matter how cool it might make me look.

I regain consciousness and open my eyes to more darkness. My godly powers tell me that I'm several dozen yards below the surface of Mount Olympus, and with a quick thought, the ground beneath me pushes me to the top.

I'm on a large, rocky outcropping high above the battle, and I take the brief opportunity to check on the others. Frank and Hazel, two of the demigods the prophecy pertains to, have already fallen in battle, one sacrificing himself in order to help his father, Ares, kill the Giant Eurytus, while the other flew into a berserker's rage upon seeing her beloved fall and was overrun by a cohort of dracenae.

Leo, Piper, and Jason, three more children of prophecy, are taking on the Nemian Lion of all things,while Annabeth and Will Solace, the last two of the Seven Champions of Olympus, are commanding the demigod forces expertly.

The elder gods are worn out from their battles against the Giants, most notably Zeus is spent from fighting, and failing, against Porphyrion.

All in all, not a good sign. The monsters keep respawning like a freakin' newbie in an online Call of Duty free-for-all match, and we still have Porphyrion to deal with, as well as Ephialtas and Mimas, who are stil fighting against Apollo and Hephaestus respectively.

It's time I took things into my own hands. So I do what I feel is the only logical choice and raise my voice to the sky.

"Porphyrion, you stupid, ugly cock-sucking son of a cunt!" If that doesn't grab his attention, I don't know what will.

Fortunately, it's enough, and the big bastard turns around with death in his snow-white eyes.

"I challenge you to a fight! One-on-one. Winner gets to decide what to do with Olympus. Loser dies. Whaddya say, limp dick?"

My comment only further fuels his towering rage. "I accept, Perseus Jackson! By the River Styx, so mote it be!"

A clap of thunder echoes across the stormy skies as the fish takes the bait. Now all I have to do is figure out a way to kill something that requires two beings to slay in a one-on-one fight.

The remaining two Gigantes pause in their fights, and the clashing armies halt and create a wide circle around myself and Porphyrion.

We stare each other down, he trying to intimidate me while I stare lovingly into his eyes, as though he were the one thing in the universe that I lived for, trying to unnerve the hell out of him.

It actually works, and he gives me a strange look partway between disgust and curiosity, and I take the opportunity to leap forward and toe kick him in the solar plexus, driving the wind from him and doubling him up. Unfortunately, he catches my foot on instinct with one hand and shoves his spear forward.

I jerk to the side, but only enough so that the spear-tip slices into the meat of my side, spilling my ichor and hurting like a mucka-lucka. Twisting, I free my foot and whip my other one around like a mace, driving it home into the side of Porphyrion's head while stabbing out at his midsection with Riptide.

Dazed, Porphyrion staggers back, bleeding for a quick second while his eyes readjust from the rattling I gave his skull. But he regains his composure just as fast as usual, his mother healing him as usual.

Damn it! This is getting me nowhere, and it's getting me there agonizingly slowly. I wish I could just get stoned and...

...wait a minute. I just got an idea.

**[THIS IS A PAGE-BREAK] **LEO

"LEO!"

I jump, startled at hearing Percy call out my name. The last time he'd called me like that was just before he and I killed the Giant Hippolytus with a gigantic spike of superheated stone. It was pretty badass, if I do say so myself, and I figure that it's about time to prepare myself to do something similar again.

"WHAT!" I shout back, watching as Percy raises his hands dramatically. In the gianormous circle that he and Porphyrion have been fighting, plants begin to sprout and grow at alarming speed, and a dense, potent scent fills the air as what I can only describe as an ass-ton of cannabis erupts all around us.

"LET'S GET HIGH AS FUCK!" Percy hollers in response. I only have to think about this for one-one millionth of a second to understand and grin.

Beauty Queen was kneeling heavily, favoring the leg where her thigh was cut deep into by that beast of a Nemian Lion's left claw. I'm going to be making that claw into a back-scratcher after this is all said and done (I'm not kidding; I cut off the whole paw, and it is now resting in the pocket dimension of my tool-belt). Jason had few wounds, being the great fighter that he is, but he, like every friggin' demigod here, was bone-tired.

They both stared at me in confusion, but I simply lit my hands on fire, and kept on adding to the flame until it was a roaring bonfire between my palms. I relished the feel of controlling it for a moment before thrusting forward, keeping on with the fire until it was a towering inferno, rushing across the field of weed and burning all in its path.

Clouds of bone-white smoke filled the air all around us, and almost on cue, every being great and small began coughing as though their lungs were trying to escape out of their mouths.

I can almost feel the smoke slowly rolling its dainty tendrils into my brain and working its magic and inhale deeply before falling into a convulsing fit of coughs that elevates me even more.

A strong gust of wind sends the cloud of marijuana smoke to the east, where it'll probably get the entire Mediterranean stoned out of their minds, and Porphyrion and Percy reappear.

Percy already always looks faded, so there's no change in him, but Porphyrion looks like he's only a few hundred miles away from Jupiter.

"Wh-what did you do to me, you brat?" he sort of grumbles. It's not his usual booming voice, but I don't think his sound box has a low volume setting.

"Nothin' compared to what I'm about to do," Percy responds with a grin. Then he blurs, and speeds toward the dumbfounded Giant King and extends his leg, planting his foot squarely into Porphyrion's Giant balls.

There's a moment of absolute silence when anything with male genitalia cringes in sympathy, then Porphyrion screams. Like...he...he screams. I can't put it any other way. It hurt my ears, and judging by their reaction, it hurt everyone else's ears, too.

Without any sort of pause, Percy swings down his sword, Riptide, and lops off Porphyrion's head and stomps down on it, smashing the Giant's skull like an overripe melon.

It's morbidly fascinating, and I can't look away. With a triumphant holler, Percy throws Riptide at Mimas, who is just as stoned as his brother, catching him right in the heart.

And then Thalia, oh, beautiful, terrible, Thalia Grace raises her bow and lets an arrow fly. It buries itself deep into the Bane of Hephaestus' eye, and he looses an almighty bellow before the arrow explodes, and I grin. Thalia was using the explosive arrows I'd made for her. I feel a swell of pride in my chest as Mimas' head blows apart just like Porphyrion's did.

With a yell, the battle resumes, and Jason and I guard Piper while she recovers, content in the fact that we've won. The monsters know it, and Ephialtes knows it, too. But most importantly, Gaea knows it.

There's a gigantic bang that batters against my already wounded eardrums, and Ephialtes vanishes. The monster army falters, and then begins to flee. Many of the demigods and satyrs roar in victory and begin to chase after them, but I simply slump down to the ground beside Piper, and Jason does the same a second later.

"We did it, guys," I say with a tired grin. Jason sighs in agreement while Piper gifts me with her million-dollar smile.

"That we did, Leo," she answers. "That we did."

**A/N: **Lame ending, I know, but I'm pressed for time, and I wrote this in about three hours in one sitting, backed by a few bowls of the greatest plant ever (as evidenced by its almighty victory over the Gigantes). Anyway, I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep. I hope you like it, and review if you want to. I don't want to force you to do anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Okay, so here's the next chapter. This'll be mainly from Leo's and Piper's POV, so you can look forward to that. This chapter won't be so humor oriented, as it has to deal with a bit of _draaamaa!_ Bitch, I'm fabulous. So, no, there won't be too many laughs, but this chapter is necessary to get the ball rolling for future events.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own shit.

oooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 3: The Afterlife of the Party

oooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

PERCY

"WHOOOO! ROOOT BEEEEER!"

Damn, those Party Ponies sure can party. Although I've never understood how root beer can get a centaur drunk. I asked Chiron about it once, but he started pulling out diagrams from his saddlebags and drawing pie charts that just made my head start to hurt. Guess it's one of those mysteries of life, like why hemmoroids aren't called asteroids, or why the most popular pencil in the world is called the Number 2...

Anyway, so everyone's having a blast. Zeus, God bless his heart, even lifted Dionysus' ban on alcohol, and he and I had a few drinks earlier. I gotta say, he's a much more pleasant fellow to be around when he's had a bit of the Beast.

After I took out Porphyrion and Mimas, and Ephialtes vanished, the Olympian army routed the monsters, who were either slain or were lucky enough to escape, and after that, we threw a big ol' shindig.

At the moment, I'm hanging out with Chiron and his centaur pals, who are all in various stages of inebriation. Chiron, to my surprise, is a silly-drunk, and keeps on trying to draw a mustache on me with a Sharpie.

Me, I'm somewhat tipsy. I like drinking, but there are too many drawbacks for me to truly enjoy it. Not like with my favorite plant. Many of the folks I've been partying with are currently either really stoned or passed out because they got cross-faded. Not my fault they had too much to drink...

A rumbling beneath everyone's feet causes the party to grind to a halt, and everyone who isn't unconscious grabs up their weapons and/or readies their powers.

The ground before me slowly rises and takes the shape of none other than Gaea herself, although she looks a bit worse for wear. She's crumbling, and her form is hazy at best.

Everyone around me backs up, leaving she and I in a circle similar to the one that surrounded Porphyrion and I when we had our last-ditch duel to the death.

I pull out Anaklusmos and my new sword, Aphros. It's a bit longer than Riptide, and more elegantly crafted, I think, which is why I named it 'Seafoam.' But it turns out my cool draw was for nothing.

"_Sheath your weapons, Perseus Jackson,"_ she says tiredly. _"I am no more a threat to you than a common fly is to a human. I am Fading, you foolish boy. Can you see what you have done? I, Gaea, mother of all, am dying because of your actions."_

"Bullshit," I reply. "Me beating the Giants and the Titans shouldn't be enough to make you Fade."

"_Silence, child," _she snaps irritably. _"You wrested control of the ground from me to save the maiden goddess of the moon, the one who took Selene's place when _she_ Faded. Ponder on this, Perseus. You took away my power. Without my power, I am nothing."_

I take a moment to digest that. I just basically killed Mother Nature. Normally, I'd think that's pretty cool, but it's not. It only makes me feel a little sad inside.

"_You, Perseus Jackson, have orchestrated my death," _she presses on. _"You are the cause of the deaths of the majority of my children."_

This brings a bit of chagrin from me. "Hey, it's not my fault they're a bunch of pussies," I retort.

Gaea's half-formed face glares at me. _"If I had sufficient power, I would curse you into oblivion." _Then her anger seems to dissipate, and she sighs, the noise sounding like sand being blown by a gentle breeze. _"In time, no one will remember Mother Earth."_

"Hey," I say, forcing her to look at me. "With all due respect, shut the fuck up, Gran-Gran." She looks rather shocked at my tone. "You think that as your successor, I'd let your memory fade as your body is now? I mean, yeah, you're definitely insane, but then again, everyone's a little crazy."

Everyone seems a little gobsmacked at my pronouncement. "You're the Mother of All, like you said. You nurtured every living thing without asking for anything in return. Now hear this," I continue, raising my voice so that all those around us can hear. "I swear on the River Styx and the River Lethy that as long as I remain, I won't allow your memory to fade away, Gaea."

A few dirt clods crumble off of Gaea's shoulders as she stares at me in astonishment. She's silent for awhile before she finally speaks. _"...of all my offspring and descendants,, you are the one I believed was least likely to surprise me." _Then she smiles at me, and I realize that I've never seen her smile. It's kinda nice. _"You, Perseus Jackson, shall be the last being to receive the blessing of Gaea, weak as it may be, if you shall have it."_

I'm taken aback for a moment, then nod with a smile. She glides over to me, places a hand on my forehead, and sketches a small circle on my brow. _"So mote it be,"_ she whispered, and then her form crumbled away into nothing but a pile of dirt and a final, lingering sentence. _"Live long and well, my favorite grandchild..."_

**[****THIS IS A PAGE BREAK****]**

LEO

So here we are, at the end of this retarded war, and I feel like I just ran through a gauntlet of cricket bat-wielding Cyclopes. Everything aches, and some parts of me are still bleeding, thanks to the Earthborns' cursed weapons. But the worst thing was that I took a Hyperborean arrow to the knee during the monsters' mad dash for freedom. And when I say a Hyperborean arrow, I mean a demigod-sized spear. Like, seriously. The only reason I can even think without screaming in pain is because of Beauty Queen.

She really has come into her charmspeaking abilities, convincing me that I wasn't in the worst pain of my life at the moment. But I guess being alive and well is better than pushing up daisies in the Underworld.

Regardless, everyone...and I mean _everyone_, from the lowliest satyr to Zeus himself is celebrating the victory over the Gigantes. The whole damn world seems to be having a party. When I was being carried off to the medical fields, I'm pretty sure I saw Dionysus getting seven shades of shit-faced, and I think (but don't hold me to it) I witnessed the infamous Tantalus chowing down on a big-ass chicken leg.

And here I am, in a lonely corner of Olympus, sitting on a stretcher in a tent with a hole in my leg that I can easily fit three fingers into without them touching the sides. But I guess that's just me. Leo Valdez: Forever Alone. I would've made a rage comic, but I left my Android on the _Argo II_.

So I get to do nothing but sit here and listen to the revelry of a civilization that had hours ago faced extinction. Deciding that just laying on this cot like a bump on a log is a bit pathetic, I conjure up a little ball of flames and start playing with it.

For the longest time, I'd hated my fire. Fire was bad. Fire burned. Fire did nothing but destroy and consume everything. But over the past few months, with the help of some good friends, I've come to realize that fire is just like everything else. It simply is. It isn't inherently evil or righteous, it's how it's used that matters. Take our victory today. My fire burned up Percy's weed field, got everyone stoned, and allowed Percy to take out Mimas and Porphyrion, effectively ending this war. My fire helped to end the Gigantomachia. Damn, I sound like a douchebag with a bloated ego, saying it like that. Gotta give Prometheus credit; without him, there wouldn't be any fire.

As I twist the flames, creating a tiny replica of Festus and causing him to fly around the tent, I hear the sounds of celebration diminish somewhat. Curious, I push myself into a sitting position, grimacing as a twinge of pain lances up my leg and into my skull where it reverberates like an angry mosquito.

A second or two later, the entrance flap of the tent is pushed aside, and not one, but _three_ gods enter my tent. The first is Percy, the crazy genius himself. Next in comes Apollo, grinning and glimmering and shimmering, making himself look like what every sparkly vampire wants to be. Finally comes someone I haven't properly met, but someone I know from his snake staff; Asclepius, immortal physician to the gods, and himself the god of medicine and general doctoring.

"Hey, Leo!" Percy greets me with the traditional bro-hug and a clap on the back. "Figured that I couldn't let one of the greatest heroes of the Gigantomachia sit in a musty old tent while everyone else basks in the fruit of your labor."

"Bad form, that'd be," Apollo piped up cheerfully. "So I brought my son here to check out your leg."

Asclepius, who is a man who looks like he could be Jason's older brother, nods almost bashfully and extends a hand, which I shake in bemusement.

"I know this will be painful, but would you mind rolling up your pant leg for me?" he asks in a surprisingly gentle voice. I do as he says, hissing as the denim of my jeans scrapes against the tender wound. When it's fully exposed, Apollo lets out an appreciative whistle.

"Dang, kid," he says. "You must be one tough SOB to be sitting here with _that_ kinda wound." I can't help but feel a bit of pride that I've impressed an Olympian.

"Pipes helped with it a bit," I admit. Can't take all the credit.

"The Aphrodite councilor?" Apollo wonders, and I nod. He grins. "Now you're a lucky SOB, having such a _charming_ nurse to tend to you." He nudges Percy in the ribs. "Get it? _Charming_? 'Cause she can charmspeak?"

"Yeah, I got it, Brightside," Percy replies with a reluctant grin, but he rolls his eyes at me, and I have to hide my laughter behind a cough.

"Were your lungs damaged during the battle?" Asclepius inquires, looking up from my leg in concern.

"No, no, they're fine," I hurriedly tell him. "Thanks, though." Then I turn to Percy and Apollo. "So what's happened, other than everyone getting blitzed out of their minds?"

"Um, well, not much to be honest," Percy says. "But can you really blame them? We've been at almost constant war since _I_ was twelve, so when you think of it, we've been fighting non-stop for close to a decade, Leo."

"Fair enough," I concede. "Have you seen Jason and Piper?"

Percy looks uncomfortable for a moment. "Er, well, you see..."

"That Roman kid hooked up with his old girlfriend, and I don't think the Aphrodite girl liked it too much." Apollo spoke this so bluntly that I didn't even comprehend it at first.

I'm ashamed to admit that it takes me a moment for that to sink in. Might have to do with all the marijuana smoke I inhaled earlier that day, or maybe it's the lingering pain, but it finally registers.

"WHAT!" I turn to Percy, hoping that it's a sick, twisted joke, but Percy's got his sad-panda face on, and I stand up quickly, not even taking note of the fact that while we were talking, Asclepius had not only healed my knee, but almost all of the rest of my injuries as well. "Where is she?"

"Dunno," Apollo continues, looking a bit startled at my response. "She looked like she was headed to one of the little streams by the southern face of Olympus, though, if that helps-"

Before he can even finish, I'm out of the tent, brushing away the entrance flap like an annoying fly and running as fast as my newly-healed leg can carry me.

I call out for her as soon as I'm out of range of the party noises. I keep calling and running until my throat is hoarse and my legs burn from the exertion. I reach a small river and start to follow it, ignoring the satyrs and nymphs and the odd demigod that I startle from the bushes in my search, stopping every now and then to ask if any of them have seen Piper.

Damn, it Jason, why'd you have to do it now, of all times? I had a gut feeling that he and Reyna were...I dunno, _meant_ for each other, just like how I knew that he and Piper _weren't _meant for each other. And now, Piper's alone with her raw grief and anger, and I know how that feels because I had nothing but sorrow and rage to keep to myself growing up. I experienced first-hand what that does to a person, and I _refuse_ to let that happen to Beauty Queen.

Crashing through the underbrush, I almost miss it. Luckily (or unluckily, I guess), I don't see the root of a sycamore tree and tumble onto my face. I lay there for a second, and that's when I hear the soft sobbing. Damn it, even when she's crying, her voice still sounds like the sweetest song in the world.

I guess I wasn't being too subtle, stumbling around in the woods, because when I get close, Piper's kaleidoscope eyes fix on me, changing from a dull, muddy brown to a light shade of hazel.

"Go away, Leo," she sniffles, putting her head back down onto her pulled-up knees. She's sitting right at the edge of the stream, curled in upon herself. "I just want to be left alone right now."

"C'mon, Beauty Queen, I know you like to look at my ass when I walk away, but I doubt this is an appropriate time for that," I say, trying to get a smile out of her. Piper lets out a sound halfway between a choking sob and a reluctant snort of amusement.

"Full of yourself much?" she retorts half-heartedly. "Just get out of here, pyro."

"Nah, you'd miss me too much, klepto," I fire back, settling down next to her. "So, what's got you all bummed out? I thought we were supposed to be celebrating." I already know, but I figure it's better for her to tell me on her own time.

"That's definitely what Jason and Reyna are doing," Piper's voice turns more bitter than it has any right to be. "Stupid son of Zeus...or Jupiter, or whatever the hell he is. Do you know what I just saw, Leo? I saw my boyfriend playing tonsil hockey with that Roman hussy..._right in front of me_!" She lets out a mirthless laugh that falls dead in the air. "Can you believe that? Daughter of the love goddess can't even keep her man for three months."

I stay silent, allowing her to vent.

"I can't even figure out what went wrong! I mean, before this stupid battle, we had our last kiss for good luck and all that garbage, and went into the fight as boyfriend and girlfriend. Then, not an hour after we win this dumb war, he's with..._her_. I just...I don't understand, Leo." She seems to deflate as she turns her wonderfully perfect face to me. "What is it about me that's so repulsive?"

I almost laugh. "Beauty Queen, I can't think of one _single _thing that makes you repulsive." Then I pause and add, "Well, except the fact that you're a vegitarian, but I won't hold it against you." Again, she lets out her watery chuckle.

Then I decide that it's time to get serious. "Listen, Piper," I tell her, and she looks up at me, probably confused that I used her actual given name instead of one of my stupid nicknames. "I can't tell you why Jason did what he did, or even if he was thinking straight when he did it. Despite the fact that he's one of my best friends, I don't know how to read his mind. But what I _do_ know is that if he let you go so easily, then he didn't deserve you in the first place."

She's on the verge of tears again, I can see the moisture welling up in her cloudy-gray eyes, and I wipe them away as they start to fall. "You're too good to be considered runner-up to _anybody_, Piper McLean, do you understand me? You're not just a Beauty Queen, you're _the_ Beauty Queen. You're _my_ Beauty Queen."

She looks at me with wide eyes, shining with unshed tears, and she looks so damn_ beautiful_ that it hurts my heart just being so close. It takes every ounce of willpower I have, but I refrain from kissing her senseless because I know that's not what she needs right now. She needs me to be her friend, and that's what I'm going to do.

So instead of pulling a scumbag and making out with an emotionally vulnerable girl, I pull my friend into a hug. She stiffens at first, but then she wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes so hard that I almost groan. Asclepius might have healed my wounds, but the lingering pain is still there.

Finally, the pressure from her embrace lightens, and I pull away. She seems to have found her composure during the hug, and she gives me a smile that seems to brighten the world.

"Thanks, Valdez," she tells me. "You're the best friend an idiot Aphrodite girl could ask for."

"Aw, go on," I tell her, internally cringing, having been friend-zoned yet again. It seems as though Fortuna does not smile down upon Mexican elf-like creatures such as myself. To change the subject, I say, "So, are you good to go back? Because my leg is starting to stiffen up a bit."

"Oh, crap!" she exclaims, looking down to inspect my leg. "Why the hell are you even on this leg, you idiot? You had an arrow the size of a flagpole in it!"

"You worry too much, Beauty Queen," I answer, waving off her concern. "Asclepius took care of it for me. It's just kinda sore now. Besides, I couldn't let you wallow. You'd start getting wrinkles, and that would be, like, totally not chic."

Piper gives me a light punch to the arm, but stands up and helps me to my feet with a wry smile pulling at her lips. "C'mon, repair boy. You can watch me tell Jason Grace what for."

We make our way back to where the entire book of Greek and Roman myths is still partying and find Jason and Reyna pretty quickly. The two of them are sitting by one of the hundreds of bonfires, apparently deep in conversation, with their heads close together so they can hear each other over the racous sounds of celebration all around us.

"Hey, Grace!" Piper calls out quite calmly, considering the situation. Jason looks up, and his eyes widen in surprise before his face settles into a determined expression. He wears that same face whenever he's about to do something that's painful, yet necessary. I saw it when he was about to pull an arrow out of his shoulder, and plenty of other times during this war.

"Piper," he says, standing from the log he and Reyna were sitting on. "Listen, we need to talk."

"No, I need to talk, and you need to listen," Piper says in a demanding voice. "You and I are finished. End of story. So you can just go back to your little praetor friend there and just leave me alone from now on, got it?"

Jason gapes at her, mouth hanging open like his jaw's busted, while Reyna seems to be looking her up and down appraisingly. "But-"

"No, I don't wanna hear it," Piper interjects. "Tell it to someone who cares." Then she spins on her heel and walks off, leaving both Jason and I speechless. Gotta hand it to her. She can sure storm off with the best of 'em.

"Not bad," Reyna says approvingly. "She would have made a fine Legionaire."

Jason, who's regained his wits, looks at me questioningly. "What the hell was that about?"

"I think she saw you and Bellona-girl over there making out," I supply helpfully. "She ran off, I found her and gave her a bit of cheering up, and then she went into Beauty Queen of Doom mode." Turning to follow after Piper, I call back, "You're lucky she's the one that broke up with you. I can't imagine how you would've messed it up if it had been you doing it."

And with that, I start looking for Piper, who's vanished faster than a keg of root beer at a Party Ponies convention.

**[****THIS IS ALSO A PAGE BREAK****]**

PIPER

Man, that was a rush! I feel...powerful, I guess would be the proper term. Ever since I learned that the relationship I shared with Jason had been a figment of the Mist, I always had a few doubts. Nothing too big, but they were always there, niggling at my conscious every time we were together. It makes me wonder what really happened during those months that Hera took from me.

If I'm being honest, I sort of guessed that Jason would go back to Reyna when everything was said and done. I just foolishly hoped that maybe whatever relationship we'd built in the time it took for us to bring down the Giants would be enough to hold together. But everyone knows that 'hope' is a four-letter word.

After storming off, I realize that I don't know what to do with myself. I suppose I could wait for Leo, it's the least I can do for him after he said all those nice things to me. I feel a little bad that I kind of never really saw Leo as anything more than the firebug mechanic with a slightly off-kilter sense of humor that everyone sees. The reality is that Leo's got hidden depths to him that I don't think anyone really realizes are there.

He's definitely my best friend at the moment, and as I walk through the gigantic camp of Greeks and Romans, dodging around drunken centaurs and satyrs, it hits me. Leo and I were friends even before the Queen of the Gods decided to mess with our minds. He and I hung out back when we were simple mortals without any knowledge of what was hidden behind the lattice veil strung up before our eyes.

I'm so engrossed in my thoughts that I don't even notice Thalia until I bump into her. She and the other Hunters of Artemis seem to be playing a drinking game of some sort.

"Hey, watch where you're-oh, hi, Piper!" Thalia says, smiling at me once she recognizes me. Her smile slips when she notices that I've got my frowny-face on. "What's wrong?"

I hesitate, wondering if I should just lie and say nothing, but then I remember that Thalia is Jason's older sister, and she'll find out sooner or later anyway. "Jason and I broke up," I say shortly, and Thalia's face pulls into a concerned expression.

"Is there a particular reason?"

"Reyna."

That's all I need to say. Thalia, being the good sister she is, knows all about Jason's situation. During the months we were fighting the war, Thalia and I became pretty good friends, so she knows my opinions on the daughter of Bellona.

Thalia's frown deepens. "So he ended up choosing her, then?"

I shake my head swiftly, choppy hair flying around my face. "Screw that. I made the decision for him. I saw them joined at the face earlier, and after having a good mope about it, I told him that he could shove it where Apollo can't see."

Thalia's lips hoist upwards as she grins. "Well, good for you, girl. I love my baby brother, but I think he missed out one one hell of a girlfriend just now." I answer her with a smile. "Hey, you know what? Now that you're through with Jason, how about you hook up with the Hunt? Like I said before, we could definitely use a chick like you as a Hunter of Artemis."

This makes me think. My only reason for not becoming a member of the immortal handmaidens of the Moon goddess was because I wanted Jason. Now that he's no longer in the picture, I don't see any reason not to.

"You know, that's not such a bad idea," I reply.

The Hunt's lieutenant laughs happily. "Come on, then! Let's go find Lady Artemis!"

It only takes us a few minutes to find the Huntress, sitting apart from the revelry. She seems a bit lonely, truth be told. She's watching a group of satyrs and nymphs laughing and dancing and drinking like there's no tomorrow almost wistfully.

"My lady," Thalia calls out as we approach. Artemis looks up sharply, and then relaxes when she sees us.

"Thalia," she says, nodding her graceful head. No offense to my mother, but I think Artemis is the most gorgeous goddess of them all. Her beauty is effortless, wild and untamed like the places she holds dominion over. My mom...well, she's definitely a bombshell, but she sort of tries a little too much.

She turns to me and says, "Piper McLean. I appreciate your help against Gration. You do very good work."

"Thank you, Lady Artemis," I stammer, blushing at the compliment. "But the credit goes to you. I couldn't have done anything but distract him."

Artemis gives a small smile. "Modesty is a trait that is very uncommon in children of Aphrodite. I am impressed."

"That's good, then," Thalia says with a grin, tugging on my arm to bring me closer to the two of them. "Piper here wants to join the Hunt."

Artemis considers me thoughtfully. "Forgive me, but I was under the impression that you were dating the Son of Jupiter, Jason Grace." She said the word 'dating' just a little disdainfully. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the boy's sister, Thalia?" 

"Piper found Jason with the girl Hera had taken him from, the daughter of Bellona, from Camp Jupiter," Thalia explained. "So Piper gave my little bro the old heave-ho like the boss she is." She claps me on the shoulder proudly. It's almost funny, seeing her champion my cause against her own brother.

Artemis scowls at hearing my plight. "Men," she mutters, staring off towards a spot a few points south of Mount Olympus. "Always the same story. Infidelity is emblazoned into their very being." Then she turns back to me, rests a gentle hand on my shoulder, and says, "Of course you may join the Hunt, Piper. I would be honored to have you."

After taking the necessary oaths of chastity, Artemis takes out one of her long archer's daggers, pricks her thumb with the tip of it, then tells me to hold out my arm. With the ichor she drew from the wound, she traces a bow and arrow on the inside of my forearm, and as soon as she's done, it starts to tingle curiously.

"It will take a few minutes to sink in," Artemis says, "but once it does, you'll be an immortal Huntress." Her head snaps up oddly, then she gives Thalia and I an apologetic smile. "Forgive me, but my idiot senses are tingling, and I must take my leave before he arrives."

"Before who-" I start to ask, but Artemis vanishes. A second later, Percy pops in between Thalia and I.

"Hey, Pipes! Hey, Thals!" he greets us enthusiastically. "Have you seen Arty around anywhere? I figure that she'd be doing her wallflower thing and being a general party-pooper, so I'm trying to get her onto the dance floor."

"Good luck with that, Seaweed Brain," Thalia responds with a grin. "Lady Artemis doesn't do dancing."

"Watch it, Pinecone Face. You know, now that I'm a god, I can change you back into a tree," Percy threatens, but it's an empty gesture, as he smiles widely aftewards. His eyes focus on something in the distance. "Oh, there she is. Well, have fun, you two!"

And with that, he, too, vanishes. Thalia shakes her head, then turns and grabs me into a tight hug, laughing. "Welcome to the Hunt, Pipes! The rest of eternity's gonna be a blast!"

"What?" a quiet voice behind us makes Thalia break her embrace, and we both turn to find Leo Valdez staring at me with a thunderstruck expression on his face.

"Leo..." I begin, wondering why he looks so heartbroken. The muscles in his jaw start jumping erratically, like he's chewing a really hard piece of gum.

"So you're gonna leave, too, huh?" he mutters, his face turning hard. "Now that Jason's gone, you've got no ties to the Camp, is that it?"

"Leo, don't," I say, reaching out to him, but he turns away abruptly, and this kind of pisses me off. "Valdez, quit acting like a little brat! It's not like we'll never see each other again."

"No, I understand," he snaps. "Nobody wants to hang out with the stupid little pyro who's only skill is fixing broken crap, right? Jason's headed back to Camp Jupiter with Reyna, and you're off to go globetrotting with the Hunt..." His voice cracks, and my anger melts.

It suddenly hits me. Leo's always been alone. His mother died when he was young, and he spent his early childhood being shunted from one foster home to the next. Then he finally gets friends in me and Jason, and now we're abandoning him, just like everyone else did.

Before I can say anything, Leo spins and vanishes into the crowd. "Leo, wait!" I call out, starting to follow him, but a hand on my shoulder stops me. I round on Thalia. "What?" 

"Let him go," Thalia says, her face thoughtful. "He needs some time to cool off, and you'll only make it worse."

"And what do you know about Leo?" I grunt irritably.

"I know that he's hurting right now, and I know that you're not going to be the one that eases that pain." I reel back, feeling like Thalia's words just smacked me in the face. Leo helped me get through my pain at Jason's betrayal, and then not five minutes later, I send him spiraling out of the sky like he was Icarus and I was the sun's burning rays.

"Oh, no," I mumble. "What have I done?"

**A/N: **And I think I'll leave it at that. Yes, this fanfiction will definitely have a healthy dose of Leo/Piper. I absolutely _flove_ that ship, and you've got to admit that it makes an awful lot of sense. Leo and Piper are the only, I repeat _only_ demigods so far in either series to befriend one another _before_ they go to Camp Halfblood. They spent some time together in the Wilderness School before Hera screwed with their minds, and I don't really think that Jason would forego the relationship he shared, or could have shared, with Reyna for the one he could/would have had with Piper. He and Reyna have history, just like Percy and Annabeth in canon. It might not work, but Piper made the choice for him, and now he's gotta live with it.

Anyway, next chapter will be a bit of a time-skip, so look forward to that. See ya next time I update (which could literally be anytime...even in the past! Dundundun!)

I also want your guys' opinion on something. As this is a fanfiction designed almost solely to make fun of PJ fanfic clichés, I've been toying with the idea of having Poseidon and Sally Jackson having a second child a few years later on down the line and having him be that dirty little prick child that everyone seems so keen on writing. What do you think? Should I have "Marcus Jackson" be introduced in a few chapters or so? Or shouldn't I? Should I have Chaos show up, just to spice things up? Or am I just a retard for even entertaining such blasphemous ideas? Review and tell me what you think! Or don't. I'm not your mother, I can't tell you what to do...


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Happy American Independence Day, everyone! I hope everyone is celebrating the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness on the day the blight known as freedom smote the world!

So now we get to the fourth chapter, where Percy pitches the idea of his little band of brothers to the rest of the Olympians and gets an earful from Artemis. Thanks to all who reviewed and favorited and alerted and all that other good stuff.

And a big thank you to a Guest reviewer, who pointed out my mistake in my author's note. Leo and Piper are _not_ the only demigods to meet and become friends before Camp, as evidenced by Annabeth, Thalia, and Luke. It totally slipped my mind! Sorry to all you lovers of those characters, They are by no means diminished in my mind at all.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own shit, though I have a plan to kidnap Rick Riordan's family and hold them hostage until he give me the rights to his intellectual property as ransom. Now all I need is a couple AK-47's and some duct tape...

oooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 4: The Riders of Perseus

oooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

PERCY

So it's almost three years later, and I'm getting kinda bored of immortality.

Once the Gigantomachia was through, there was nothing to do, and it was freakin' awesome. Like, _incredibly _freakin' awesome. In fact, I actually went a bit insane with power, but it was the good kind of insane. The mortals noticed something was up when marijuana plants grew like wheat across the North American continent, so much so that Congress was forced to pass a bill that legalized everyone's favorite recreational drug.

Not only that, but once it was legal, people started to sell pre-rolled joints in packs, like cigarettes, as well as make paper, clothing, and accessories out of hemp stalk, which brought the country out of recession.

Anyway, a lot of Mexican immigration let up, with immigrants starting work as pot farmers, and Mexico itself got a lot safer, what with there being more weed than folks know what to do with. The drug lords became more like drug mayors, and tons of new jobs cropped up, cutting unemployment rates across the entire continent by over half. Don't get me wrong, I freakin' love Mexican people, but with all the idiot white folks complaining non-stop about them 'taking their jobs,' I figure that it'll be good for the Caucasian-Americans to learn that those Mexicans did a lot of work for them, and how dependant upon those immigrant workers they were.

The coolest thing is, though, that Annabeth and a few more children of Athena have discovered that delta-9 tetrahydracannabinol, the chief cannabinoid in marijuana, can be converted into a clean-burning, environmental-friendly fuel quite easily. The satyrs are even starting to call me 'Pan II,' since I'm bringing the wild places back.

So let me read that back to you. I single-handedly brought about the legalization of marijuana, ended the recession, solved the immigration problem, _and_ helped discover a renewable energy source that doesn't screw with the environment. All hail Perseus Jackson, God of Awesomeness and Badassery!

Demeter's been schooling me in bringing the harvests in, and Dad's taught me about the tides and things, so I've got those two down-pat, except when Artemis is being particularly obtuse. The tides are dependant on the moon, after all. Who better to disrupt the god of tides than the goddess of the moon, right?

In fact, the only road-bump on the godly highway so far has been the Huntress. Every friggin' step of the way, she finds some way to make my life miserable. I swear, whenever the Hunt comes to hang out at Camp Half-Blood, my campers and I are driven to near insanity with pranks of immortal proportions. No doubt, the attacks have caused the campers to grow closer together. The enemy of my enemy and all that good stuff.

But anyway, after all that, I've grown a bit antsy here at camp. I mean, I know it's my sacred place and everything, but sometimes it just grates on ya. I understand why Dionysus was such a dick, now.

I've got a sort of idea that I'm going to propose at the Winter Solstice meeting tomorrow. It's half-baked, and I'm absolutely positive that it'll piss off Artemis. Both pluses in my eyes.

**[****THIS IS A PAGE BREAK****]**

STILL PERCY

"-and then I totally was like, no way!" Apollo says, finishing up his own 'contribution' to the meeting. Apollo's my best god-friend, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wonder why he's the sun god, since he's not all that bright. It's probably the only thing that the Huntress and I agree on.

"Thank you for that...er...enlightening presentation, Apollo," Zeus says from the head of the U-shaped table, scratching his head in confusion. "If no one has anything else to add, I believe this meeting is over-"

"Uh, I've actually got something to say," I stand up, and with my godly powers, transport myself to the center of the room. "I've been getting a bit bored lately," I start, summoning a corn-cob pipe filled with weed and start puffing on it. "For fear of sounding like Dionysus, running Camp Half-Blood just doesn't have the kick that I thought it would.

"So, I've come to you, my fellow Olympians, with a proposal of sorts. I've noticed that Artemis has a group of followers who uphold her views and a share a certain camaraderie, which I believe is very commendable." Here I pause and dip my head toward the goddess in question, who scowls at me in response.

However," I continue after taking another hit from the pipe, "the Hunters of Artemis are all female, which I find discriminatory towards those with a Y chromosome. Men," I add, seeing confusion on most of the gods' faces.

"What I'm proposing, in a nutshell, is that I want to form a little group of my own, a sort of antithesis to Artemis and her huntresses. Where they are women, we will be men. Where they excel at ranged weapons, we would specialize in mounted combat and close-quarters fighting. Where they are celibate, we would be...ah, not so much."

"I like it," Zeus says at once. Well, he _is_ known for his almost insatiable sexual appetite in the old stories...

"I do as well," Hera adds, surprising me. It must've shown on my face, because she smiles at me. "Balance is a key aspect of the world. Without one, there cannot be the other. I believe it is a very good idea."

Everyone likes it. Well, everyone except one. I'll give you three guesses, but you'll only need one.

After the meeting, I decide to take a walk around Olympus. Annabeth sure did a good job rebuilding this place. My own palace is something the two of us worked on together, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool. Definitely not as big as any of the Olympians, and I'm pretty sure most of the minor gods have bigger palaces than mine.

It's really just a two-story house with a big-ass yard with badass things like a pool with a waterfall, a Velcro wall, Hephaestus-made trampolines that launch you halfway out of orbit, etc. I've also got exactly fifty nearly identical houses down on Earth, one in each state.

But it's when I'm a few feet from my 'palace' when I'm accosted by none other than Artemis herself. And she looks absolutely livid.

"You...I...gah!" she exclaims as soon as she's within earshot. It seems as though she's so angry, she can't even form a coherent sentence. Alright!

"Why, hello there, Arty!" I grin. "How's the Hunt?"

In answer, she throws a punch my way. Three years ago, when I was just getting my godly sea-legs, so to speak, that punch would've knocked me halfway to Los Angeles. Come to think of it...it actually _had_ done exactly that. Scared the hell out of Ben Afleck that day...

Now, I'm smart enough to dodge to the side.

"What the _hell_ are you playing at, you uncouth moron!" she snaps angrily. "Do you _want _an arrow pointed at your genitalia?"

"For a virgin goddess, you're pretty kinky," I quip, then hop back a few dozen paces to evade her flurry of blows that comes my way. "Okay, okay, sorry!"

"You fool," she growls. "Forming an all-male counterpart to my Hunters is tantamount to a slap in my face."

"I'd never do that," I say honestly. "I might shoot spit-wads at you every Council meeting, but I wouldn't _slap _you. Didn't you hear? I'm just bored off my ass! You and the Hunt seem to have a freakin' ball, running around the world, killing monsters. It looked like fun, so I figured, why not?"

Her frown becomes slightly less severe, which is something that I feel a sense of accomplishment in and of itself. Maybe it's my calming aura, maybe I'm just that awesome. "Be that as it may," she presses, "if your group of _men_ comes anywhere near my Hunt, you will be attacked as an enemy."

"Aw, don't be that way, Arty," I pout. "I'm not _that_ bad, am I?"

She gives me an appraising look before shrugging. "No," she admits, turning and walking away"You're terribly worse." Well, at least it wasn't an arrow to the genitalia. She vanishes in a flash of power.

**[****THIS IS ANOTHER PAGE BREAK****]**

LEO

Cabin Nine is usually not a quiet place. There's always someone doing something at their workbench, and when it comes to Hephaestus kids doing something, it's always accompanied by a fair amount of noise.

So when it actually _is_ quiet, I try and take advantage. Everyone's either at the Bunker or in the forges at the moment, and I get to just relax. The past three years have been pretty slow, at least compared to my first few months as a demigod. Then again, that's a good thing, as there are no monsters or titans or giants coming to destroy all of western civilization, so I'll count it as a win for us.

At least I had ample amount of time to make a new body for Festus. I'd managed to hang onto his 'brain' throughout the Gigantomachia, and I'd promised him that once it was over, I'd bring him back, and that's just what I did. With a few improvements of course. Hey, what do you expect? I'm the son of Hephaestus, for crying out loud!

Piper's been around a couple dozen times, too. The Hunters of Artemis stop by about once or twice every quarter, mostly to bug the crap out of us. I think it's because of how much dislike Artemis holds for Percy, but what do I know, right?

Anyway, after my kinda embarrassing hissy-fit I threw when Piper became a Hunter, I came to terms with the fact that I'd only be seeing her a few times out of the year and moved on. It's not like I can do anything about it, after all. I think it's good for Piper, to tell the truth. She's never had any friends who were girls, as most of the chicks throughout her childhood or at the Wilderness School were jealous of her insane beauty. But she doesn't have to worry about that in a group of immortal, celibate teenage girls, so now she's got all the girlfriends she could ever want.

Jason and the Camp Jupiter crew come by every other month, and we go over there on alternating months, so we see each other all the time. It's kinda cool. Jason and Reyna are actually getting married next summer, and they seem really happy together. I'm glad for them. I suppose I can live vicariously through Jason, since I'll get that kind of joy.

Change of thought...I can't go getting depressed again.

Deciding to go check up on Festus, I pull myself out of my bunk and step out into the cool evening air, basking in the last hours of sunlight before Apollo finishes his daily journey. I head into the woods to Bunker 9, then make a left and head further. After finishing his new body, but before putting Festus back into it, I had Percy do me a favor and carve out a big cave for Festus to hang out in, so he's got his on pad to hang out in rather than the noisy bunker.

I give a whistle, and the dragon, now made mostly of Imperial gold, comes bounding out of his lair, teeth whirling like drills as he bowls me over.

"It's nice to see you, too, Festus," I grunt, "but get off me!" He complies, and we head back into his cavern, which has been tricked out extensively by the entire Hephaestus cabin. During special occassions, Festus goes into Bunker 9 so the camp can have a party in the massive chamber; yeah, it's that big.

Festus curls up onto his bronze bed and I take a seat on the wall just next to him. I built the chair myself, so I know it's comfy, and begin to tighten a few screws and fiddle with some wing-nuts, which is the equivalent of petting the automaton.

He lets out a puff of white smoke, and I inhale deeply. Yeah, I gave him weed smoke burps, you got a problem? I don't have the luxury of being able to grow pot on the spot like Percy can, so I have to improvise.

After awhile, Festus cranes his long neck around and jabs at a chair close to mine with his snout. I made it for Piper whenever she comes around. Jason's is on my other side, and Reyna's is next to his. They all really appreciate the fine craftsmanship.

"Yeah, I miss her, too, buddy," I sigh, putting away the socket wrench I was using to tighten the bolt that holds his jaw together.

"Who's it you miss?"

I spin and find none other than Piper McLean standing silhouetted in the cave's entrance. She looks great, as always, in her silver Hunter's coat, which she wears under her old ski vest. Her hair is the same as usual, choppy with a few braids on the side of her face, and her eyes are currently a vibrant gold, the same color as Festus.

The dragon spins and jumps off his cushion, knocking me over in the process, to get to Piper, who laughs and pats him on the top of his head fondly. "Hey Festus. Keeping this loser out of trouble?"

He answers with a sound like a V-8 engine revving up. I pick myself up and make my way over to her, where she immediately grabs me in a headlock and starts giving me a noogie. I make a struggle (but not as much as I'm capable of), and she finally lets me go, grinning up at me.

"You grew again," she notes, gauging the nearly foot of difference in our height. "I can't call you a Mexican elf anymore. Maybe a Mexican luchador, huh?" She inspects my arms, and whistles. While they'll never be as big as Jason's huge Roman biceps, the years spent hammering away at the forges have actually given me some muscle mass.

"Enough checking me out, Beauty Queen," I say, trying to hide my flushed cheeks. "How's the Hunt?"

"Oh, it's good," she says, heading over to her chair and flopping down, dropping her bow and quiver in the process. "Tiring, but good. We had to take down a pack of _dracenae_ earlier, and Lady Artemis decided to give us a break here."

"How nice of her," I respond dryly, still standing. "I hate to do this, but you know dinner's gonna start in a couple minutes." I grin when she sighs and sinks further into the chair.

"But it's so _comfortable_," she groans in protest.

"C'mon, I'm sure Festus'd be happy to give us a ride, right?" I turn to the dragon, who hops to his feet, eager to fly. After helping Piper up onto the hollow between Festus' wings, I jump up and take the reigns.

He gets a running start out of the cave and leaps into the air, golden wings snapping out and catching the wind as he propels us upward and out over the forest. A flock of harpies scatter before him, screeching angrily, and I give them the one-finger salute as we pass. Percy always warns us about the harpies eating us alive, but with Festus, that'll never be a problem for me.

We make it to the dining pavilion, and Festus drops us off before wheeling back around and heading to his lair. Piper and I part ways as she heads to the Artemis table, where the rest of the Hunters are sitting. I spot Thalia and wave, which she responds to by chucking a pea at me with a grin, then head to the Hephaestus table.

After dinner, we head to the campfire, which is a blazing silvery color in honor of the Hunt being present, and we have our usual sing-along, led by the Apollo cabin. Once that's over with, we start to head to our respective cabins when Percy, who's sitting next to Chiron and Artemis, stands up and raises his voice.

"Okay, campers!" he hollers, getting our attention. "Now, there's gonna be a few changes in the next week or so. I'm not going to be here all the time from now on."

"Why?" asks a newer camper from Cabin Five.

"I shall answer forthwith, Jerry," he replies, summoning that stupid corncob pipe he always uses to smoke his weed. "As you all know, the Hunters of Artemis are meanie-beanie-bobeanies." There's a collective murmur of agreement from us campers while the Hunters chuckle in amusement and Artemis scowls at his back. "But, just last night, during the Winter Solstice Conference, _I_ managed to convince the other Olympians to let me create a similar group of demigods, except in direct opposition to the Hunt."

"So...it'll be a group of dudes?" I ask, confused. "Talk about a sausage fest."

"You didn't let me finish," Percy pouts. "It'll be a group of dudes who specialize in close combat, mounted fighting, monster-hunting, and the fairer sex."

"Now you're talking," I grin, suddenly more interested.

"Tomorrow, I shall put up a notice on the camp bulletin board with a list of requirements needed to join the Riders of Perseus, or more simply, the Cavalry. But for now, it's bedtime! Hurry up before the harpies start looking for a meal."

The next morning, a flyer shows up on the board near the swordfighting arena. It reads thusly:

_Requirements to becoming a member of the Cavalry:_

_Must be from the ages of fifteen to twenty-one. No exceptions._

_Must be fairly proficient in at least one form of armed combat._

_Must be fairly proficient in at least one style of unarmed combat._

_Must be fairly proficient in mounted combat._

_Must excel at riding at least one type of animal._

_Must enjoy the company of the fairer sex. Giggity._

_Must not be a buzz-kill._

_Must not be adverse to getting drunk, stoned, or a combination thereof._

_Must be good at video games._

_Must like being awesome...'cause that's what you are if you meet all above requirements._

It's pretty obvious that Percy came up with it himself. I take a moment to see if I actually meet all of these. I'm nineteen, so I'm good for the age-group. I can swing a mean ball-peen hammer, and from living on my own for awhile on the streets of Houston, I became pretty good at street-fighting, and I count that as a style of unarmed combat. I'm not sure about the mounted combat, but since my riding animal is Festus, he can do the fighting for me. I am very partial to the fairer sex, I doubt that anyone thinks I'm a buzz-kill. I love getting drunk, stoned, or a combination thereof, and I'm pretty excellent at video games.

Hell, yeah! I qualify with flying colors. The instructions below that flyer say that if we do meet the requirements, that we're to show up at the sword-fighting arena at noon, preferrably with our mounts.

In the end, when twelve o'clock comes rolling around, there are nine of us in all. Me, the Stoll brothers, Will, Butch, Clovis, Malcom, Mitchell, and Pollux all sit in the amphitheater, talking amongst ourselves while our steeds screw around.

Festus is inspecting the Stoll brothers' mounts curiously, and I can't blame him; stranger creatures I never saw. Lumos and Umbra are twin (big shock there) hippalektryons, horse/bird hybrids; Lumos is has a palomino horse front and a dove's wings and rear end while Umbra has crow bird parts and black horse parts.

Will, during a quest to destroy a gryphon, ended up feeling sorry for the beast and befriended it, so now he's got Leona. Butch's mount has a similar story, in that he went out to deal with the Erymanthian boar problem in Denver and got a ride instead. Clovis' mount is a ventus named Espresso (the son of Hypnos could definitely use some caffeine), Mitchell somehow managed to tame a huge panther named Patches, Malcom rides a giant owl who goes by the name Archimedes, and Pollux's mount is a pegasus with an auburn coat he calls Castor, apparently in honor of his dead twin.

As usual, Percy's a little late. At about twelve-fifteen, a swirl of shadows appears in the center of the arena and out pops Mrs. O'Leary and a skeletal, winged horse with long hair clinging to its bones. Atop these are Percy and Nico di Angelo.

"Hey, guys!" Percy says, grinning and waving. "So, everyone's here?"

"Yup," Travis replies. "So, how does this work?"

"Yeah," Conner adds. "Are we gonna be immortals, like the Hunters of Artemis?"

Percy dismounts Mrs. O'Leary and conjures us some chairs from nothingness. "Please, sit." We do so, and he begins to pace. "Now, first of all, yes, you will become immortal if I accept you into the Celestial Cavalry. But to do so, you must pass my..." he pauses dramaticall before yelling out, "_TEST of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_"

Clovis groaned. "Work? Damn it, I thought we were gonna just hang out..." I can't help but agree with this.

"This test will be more difficult than anything you have ever encountered before in your lives," Percy states in an ominous voice. "You must..." We all lean forward in anticipation. "...get really, _really_ stoned with me."

All nine of us face-plant into the ground.

**A/N: **Aha! You all thought there would be a huge quest! Pfft. Bullshit. Percy doesn't care if you're a world-class badass like himself, he just wants some cool friends to hang out with. All of these mounts are from Greek mythology except for Nico's. Whoever knows what his is gets free cyber high-fives (irl high-fives cost ten dollars each).

So these are the initial Riders of Perseus. There may or may not be more added. Grover and Tyson will hang out with them every once in awhile, and I might add a few Roman campers, but overall, these will be the main guys.

And if someone could _please_ tell me what the big deal is with the whole "Percy becomes a virgin god and has all his followers make vows of celibacy,' I would really appreciate it. What the hell, fanfic authors? Does every Pertemis lover jerk off to the Jonas brothers or something? I mean really, folks.

Okay, my rant's done. So, once again, please tell me what you think about Marcus Jackson. Now, note that I will _not_ be going the route of having the camp shut Percy just because he's got a cool little brother who gets lucky or something, but I will have Percy deal with his li'l bro in his own stoner!Percy fashion. Also, the Chaos thing: Chaos will most likely be the main antagonist in this story, as there are few deities or other beings of immense power who are capable of matching Percy in raw strength and refined cunning. **Lord Sanguine **is the only reviewer as of this post to have given me any input as to this point, which I greatly appreciate (waves at **Lord Sanguine**).

So if you'd kindly review, then I'll try to hurry up with the next chapter, with the operative word being _try_. See ya next time!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Okay, so here's the fifth chapter of this story. I feel like such an asshole, I keep putting off working on my other stories to take care of this one, and it's really starting to pile up. I keep getting reviews telling me to hurry the fuck up, and I try, but it's just really hard because of all the bullcrap that I'm dealing with.

Anyway, I've decided to skip ahead a few years in time to get the ball rolling on something a reviewer gave me an idea for (waves at **Mandomness**). He probably didn't mean for it to happen, but happen it did. So in this chapter, we are introduced to Marcus 'Marky-Mark' Jackson, second son of Sally Jackson and Poseidon. Amphitrite is _not_ pleased. This li'l guy will become the main antagonist of the story, along with big, bad (everyone say it with me, now) _CHAAAAAOOOOS!_

But I'm getting ahead of myself now. Gotta get everything set up first...Enjoy!

Ah, and before I forget, **Fallen Angel Sephiroth **and **Mandomness **receive free cyber high-fives for correctly answering the question of what creature Nico had for a mount: In my mind, it's obvious that the son of the Lord of Death would naturally ride on a thestral, one of the greatest omens of death, from the _Harry Potter _series. I loves thestrals.

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, so that plan I told you about didn't go over so well. Turns out Rick Riordan has some _really_ good security guards, and I realized that I don't know how to use an AK-47 very well. Long story short, I don't own the rights to Percy Jackson and the Olympians...or Heroes of Olympus.

Yet...MWAHAHAHA!

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Chapter 5: My Brother From the Same Mother

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PERCY

_Dodge left, push kick, dodge right, palm thrust, bob and weave, shin kick!_

"Ouch!" a feminine voice grunts in pain.

Such are my thoughts as I battle against my greatest opponent to date. Well, it's more of a fun spar for me...to Artemis, I think she might actually be trying to kill me.

All around us, the Hunt and the Cavalry are fighting with blunted swords and arrows with boxing gloves on the tips. They'll leave bruises, but that's about it.

You're probably wondering how this happened, so I'll back-track just a bit, for your sake.

See, it's been close to fifteen years since the formation of the Riders, and so far, things have been really fun. Ever since that day, we've been living the good life, partying all over the world and generally having an awesome time.

Our home base is my ship, _La Suprema Marejada_, you know; the one that I stole from Blackbeard. Yeah. Using my super-cool godly powers, I was able to enchant it even further than Ares had done when he'd given it to his son, so it's basically a seafaring fortress for me and my bros. We've picked up a few new faces, a couple of them mortal, so now our numbers have grown to fifteen, not including yours truly.

But every once in awhile, we cross paths with the Hunters of Artemis, and battles such as these ensue. At first, it was just Artemis living up to her threat of attacking us as enemies, and there were a few injuries that could have been life-threatening, had we not had Apollo and Asclepius on-hand to help out. As time progressed, it became more of a training exercise to keep each other sharp for when real battles took place.

Regardless, my boys seem to enjoy it, and the Hunters get to blow off some steam, too, so it's pretty much a win-win situation in my eyes.

"Focus!" Artemis snaps, and I barely manage to duck under a swipe from her archer's daggers. "You'll get your head cut off if you don't pay more attention."

"You wouldn't do that to me, would ya, Arty?" I ask, whirling around a downward slash and nudging her in the ribs before darting away to avoid the savage thrust she sends toward my chest.

"I would do much, _much_ worse if I got my hands on you," she retorts, and I grin wickedly, causing her to blanch.

"You just want an excuse to touch my sexy body," I say, and she flushes angrily, aiming a kick to my nether regions. I simply flash away and seal Seafoam into its mechanical pencil form.

"Wanna call it a day and head to camp?" I ask, and Artemis falls warily out of her crouch to look around. Most of the Hunters and Riders look exhausted; it's probably because we've been fighting for about three hours.

"I suppose," Artemis concedes. "I count this as a victory for the Hunt."

"What?" I gripe, following after her as she goes to look for Thalia. "It's clearly a stalemate, just like every other fight."

She doesn't deign to comment, and we find Thalia and Nico pounding away at each other while Nico's thestral mount wanders around aimlessly behind them.

"Enough, you two," Artemis proclaims, and Nico sighs in relief, his Stygian Iron blade hanging loosely in his grip.

"Whatsamatter, di Angelo? Worn out?" Thalia teases, setting Aegis back into her bracelet.

"Yes," Nico admits unabashedly. "I didn't expect to be fighting like this when I signed up for the Cavalry, Percy."

"Aw, don't complain, Nico, old buddy," I shoot back, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and shaking him a bit. "There are children in Africa who are starving right now."

"No there aren't," Nico interjects, looking at me with a wry smile. "You turned the Sahara desert into a gigantic wheat field. There isn't a starving person in the world now because of you."

"Oh, yeah...I did do that, huh?"

"You should have Mnemosyne check your brain," Artemis suggests. "The Fates know that you've got enough holes in it."

"You're just jealous of my awesomeness," I wave off her insult flippantly. "Hey, where's Leo?"

**[****THIS IS A PAGE BREAK****]**

LEO

"Hey, Leo?"

"Mmh?"

"You ever wonder why hemmorhoids aren't called asteroids?"

I snort in amusement. "I thought _I _was the one with the jokes, Pipes." She simply laughs.

She and I are laying down in the forest, hanging out as usual whenever the Hunt meets up with the Cavalry. We head to a place far enough away from the battle so that we're not harrassed, and then just sit around and talk about nothing much in particular. I swear, I think I've had the weirdest conversations in my life with Piper.

Piper finally sits up and checks her watch. "So, you think they're about done?" I glance down at her watch, too, tilting my head to get a proper look. The fact that I can see her cleavage better from this angle has nothing to do with it...

"They've been at it for about three hours, I think they're probably wrapping things up."

Standing up, I offer her a hand and haul her up. Festus, seeing that we're ready to leave, spins his drillbit teeth in anticipation of flying after awhile of non-movement. The minute we're secure, he makes a vertical leap about twelve feet into the air before taking flight.

By the time we make it to the sight of the battle, everyone's just about ready to leave. Percy spots us and waves us down.

"What do you two get up to when you abscond from our little sparring matches?" he asks when Festus lands. "Is there a good make-out spot anywhere around here?"

I feel my face heat up in embarrassment, and when I glance toward Piper, she's just as red as I am. Before we can answer, however, Artemis chimes in.

"Foolish idiot," she mutters, placing an arm around Piper and leading her to where the rest of the Hunt is gathered. "My Piper would never be caught 'making out' with one of your _Riders_."

As they walk away, I can't help but feel a little saddened by her statement, but Percy just punches me lightly on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Champ. You'll get her eventually."

I don't get the chance to stammer out a denial, because Percy jumps up onto Mrs. O'Leary and hollers out, "Mount up, Riders! We're headed back to Camp!"

Percy uses his godly powers to transport us to the borders of Camp Half-Blood just as Artemis does the same for the Hunters, and we start to head in when there's a ferocious bellow and a screech of terror that has all of us, Cavalry and Hunt alike, heading toward the sound.

Festus and I get there first and catch a bird's-eye (or is it dragon's-eye?) view of a strange, entirely one-sided fight.

One the one hand, there's a little kid, maybe twelve or thirteen, with dark hair and sea-green eyes that reminds me sharply of Percy. Then, there's the Minotaur and the several dozen hellhounds he brought as his plus-fifty.

I'll give the kid some credit. He sure can dodge with the best of 'em, lunging forward and performing an action-roll underneath the charge of five of the hellhounds, grabbing up a stick and cracking across the snout of a sixth, but he's soon overwhelmed, and Festus and I drop in on things.

Literally.

It's funny, and a little awesome (if I do say so myself) that despite the fact that Festus can fly as easily as a bird, he is most definitely _not_ light. At all. The guesstimation amongst the Hephaestus cabin is that he's close to ten tons, give or take a few kilos; we don't really have any scales that can properly weigh the dragon.

So when Festus makes his surprise landing, several unfortunate hellhounds are crushed into tiny little sparkles of golden dust simply from the sheer weight of him, and my favorite automaton ratchets up his kill count by another few puppies with a fanning tongue of flames.

Then the rest of the Cavalry shows up, and the battle is joined in earnest. Mrs. O'Leary, sans Percy, is tearing into her miniscule (by comparison, anyway) brethren with impunity, and more of the poor monsters are taken out by silvery arrows, courtesy of the Hunters.

In the midst of the fighting, I see that Percy's managed to get to the small demigod, and is in the process of telling off the Minotaur.

"How many times have I killed you, big guy?" he asks, and continues without waiting for an answer that'll never come. "Seriously, just give it up before I snap off your other horn and use it as a back-up bong."

The Minotaur roars and charges, throwing his head down for maximum head-butt power. Percy simply steps lightly to the side, grabbing the creature's left horn, and brings it to the ground. Without missing a beat, he pulls out Anaklusmos and drives it home, right between the Minotaur's shoulder blades. He gives a great screech of agony before dusting the forest floor with his glimmering remains.

In short order, the rest of the hellhounds are rounded up and destroyed, sent back to reform in Tartarus until next time, and we finally get back into the camp's borders.

"So, where're you from, kid?" Percy asks the young boy who looks remarkably like him.

"Manhattan," the kid replies in a tone of voice I can only describe as arrogant. "And my name's Mark, not _kid_."

"Alright, then, Mark," Percy plows on, either not noticing or not caring about the insolent timbre in Mark's speech. "I'm Percy, I run this joint. Those guys back there are my Cavalry. This beautiful creature to the side is Artemis, and the girls are her Hunters. Do you know much about our world?"

"Yeah, I know that I'm a demigod, and that I could've taken on that ugly Minotaur thing without your help," he sneered.

Percy seems to finally recognize the disdain in Mark's voice. "Did I do something to you in a past life or something, Mark? 'Cause I don't think that's really a nice tone you've got there."

"I don't care what _you_ think," Mark spits out through clenched teeth. "My dad told me about how much of a disappointment you are to him."

"...eh?"

Before anyone can do anything further, a flash of deep blue light erupts before us, and none other than Poseidon himself appears to us. I can't tell because I'm a fair distance away from him, but the god of the sea's eyes look a little glazed. Maybe he's smoking some of Percy's weed?

"Perseus," he rumbles, his face becoming a little confused for a moment before shifting to something similar to grudging tolerance. I recognize it because that's the expression most of the foster families I stayed with briefly wore whenever I was around.

There's a short gasp from behind me, and I see Piper staring above Mark's head, and I see a little blue-green trident floating above the little guy's head.

"May I present to you Marcus Jackson, my son, and your brother."

Percy stands there for a moment before apparently deciding that it would be best to faint and swoons just close enough for Artemis to catch him. This was obviously pure reflex on Artemis' part, because as soon as she catches him, she withdraws her hands quickly, as if stung, allowing Percy to hit the ground with a dull _thud_.

Can you believe that the little bastard has the audacity to pipe up at that moment? He looks up at Poseidon, who's looking rather confused again, and asks, "Are you _sure_ that he's my brother, Father?"

Judging by the murderous looks from the Cavalry, and also from a couple of the Hunters, I'm not the only one who wants to pop that little douchebag in the mouth.

**[****THIS IS ALSO A PAGE BREAK****]**

PERCY

I come to on the porch of the Big House, watching as Dionysus and Chiron play their weekly game of pinocchle with the ghosts of various kings and rulers. Groaning, I find that I'm in a very cushy chair, and that there is a new player in the usual lineup.

"Artemis? I didn't know you played pinocchle," I mumble as I sit up, conjuring a glass of glacier water from the choicest ice floes in Norway. Those Norwegian glaciers sure have some good water.

"It is startlingly easy to pick up," the goddess states as she sets down a winning hand, and there are sighs of defeat and moans of lamentation from the other players.

"I must say, Lady Artemis," Chiron says good-naturedly as Dionysus takes a deep swig from his box o' wine, "you are an excellent adversary. I've forgotten what it's like to play a decent game."

Artemis smiles at Chiron. "Thank you, old friend." Then she turns to me, and her smile melts into a slight frown. "So, if we reintroduce you to your brother, will you faint like a swooning maiden once more?"

"I hope not," I answer truthfully as the memories of the last hour or so come floating to the forefront of my mind. "Did you see Poseidon's eyes?"

With a trouble expression and a short nod, Artemis answers, "There is powerful magic at work here, that much is obvious. I would leave to seek out Hecate, but I am loathe to leave my Hunters here under your care."

"Most of your Hunters used to be my friends before I was deified," I retort, rolling my eyes. "It's not like I'll intentionally cause them harm, or let my campers or the Cavalry to attack them underhandedly. I have _some_ honor, Arty."

Her jaw muscles tense, and I can vaguely hear her grinding her teeth as she contemplates it. "Very well," she says finally. "I will inform Thalia and the rest that they will be staying here for an indefinite amount of time. I will hold up my part of the bargain, and you will hold up yours."

Nodding, I give her a real smile. "Thank you for doing this, Artemis."

Her eyes widen minutely in surprise, followed by a severe narrowing. "I do this for the Olympian Council, not for your sake, Perseus Jackson."

And with that, she takes her leave, flashing away in her silvery cloak of power. Sighing, I lean back in the deliciously comfortable chair. "This troubles me, Chiron," I murmur softly. "I don't know who or what would want to screw with Poseidon's mind, or how Mark fits into all this, but it can't bode well for us."

"I believe you are right, Percy," Chiron agrees, his voice somber.

Dionysus, who had dozed off after his second wine-box, snorted in his sleep and grumbled, "Curse you Pinky! I will have my revenge upon you!"

**[****THIS IS ANOTHER PAGE BREAK****]**

LEO

I swear, I'm going to _kill_ that little bastard!

First, he insulted Percy when he fell into unconsciousness (he insulted a _god_, for crying out loud!), then he tried to hit on half the Hunters of Artemis, and when that failed, proceeded to try to flirt with the rest of the Hunt and the girls in the camp..._including Piper_!

I am _incandescent _with rage! This should tell you a lot about how angry I am, because I swear to you that I had to actually look up the proper word to describe my fury in a dictionary. And Leo Valdez just doesn't go looking shit up in dictionaries! Exclamation point!

Okay, calm down, Valdez. Your shirt's on fire. Oh, crap.

In Bunker Nine, there were dozens of redundancy plans and fail-safes put into place during the war for those just-in-case moments, and one of those just happens to be a fire hose-strength sprinkler system. Guess who just set that system off with his burning cotton shirt?

Luckily, the sprinkler system also has a fail-safe, and whenever it goes off, big glass domes shoot up all around the work benches and tables and things, so none of the works in progress get wet. Only I do.

Grumbling under my breath, I slosh my way over to the drainage system button and flush out the remaining water from the bunker before setting about drying my shorts and looking for a new shirt.

I just can't see how Mark and Percy can be related. At all. There's just too much difference in demeanor and countenance. I mean, sure, they look alike, having the same parents and all, but Percy's just so laid-back and nice to everyone, whereas Mark is...not so much.

And you know what? When I asked him if he wanted to toke it up to maybe loosen that stick that's so obviously shoved too far up his ass, do you know what he told me?

"_Marijuana is a dangerous drug that kills a hundred thousand people a day."_

I almost attacked him right then and there. Seriously, if he just didn't want to smoke, I'd be fine with that. Straight-edge is nothing to be ashamed of; it's actually very commendable. But don't go shoving your self-righteous hippalektryon-crap in my face. One hundred thousand people a day? The human population would be halved within a couple of years if that were true.

_Nobody _dies from overconsumption of marijuana. Sure, if you wer to smoke your body weight in hash oil, you'd overdose, but not even the Queen of England has that much dough to spend on weed. Seriously!

I'm just not so sure about Mark. There are many things that I'm not sure about, to be honest. Clovis' dad seems to be getting a kick out of sending me exceptionally confusing dreams, and Mnemosyne appears to be helping him out. I've come to this conclusion because I think I'm finally getting back my memories of the time before Hera decided to screw with everyone's mind and pull the Ol' Switcheroo with Jason and Percy. And, like I said, they're exceptionally confusing.

I knew even before these dreams started coming to me that Piper and I had been friends during that period, but I just never really wondered how close we'd been, what with the fact that she'd been in a 'relationship' with Jason at the time, and afterwards, when Piper joined up with the Hunt and I ended up in the Cavalry, I just never really had the time, nor the desire, to learn about it.

But the god of sleep and dreams and the personification of memory apparently took it upon themselves to properly educate me.

I wonder if Beauty Queen is having the same dreams. Hell, the nickname 'Beauty Queen' was actually a work in progress for a few months, going through several retarded versions including, but not limited to, 'Veggie Queen,' 'Miss Native America,' and (I thought this one was pretty cool) 'Kaleidoscope Queen.' And then, the first time I called her Beauty Queen...

...well, I don't wanna get into that, just in case things aren't as they seem. Anyway, all this thinking about weird dreams and asshole deities has drained my anger at Mark, so at least something good came out of it.

As I pull on a new orange t-shirt, I hear the hidden entrance door slide open, and I see Piper walk in.

"Hey, Beauty Queen," I say in greeting, shaking the stray droplets of water from my hair.

"You okay, Valdez?" she asks, concern glinting in her dark violet eyes. "You left in a bit of a huff." She grins, and my lips lift upwards in answer; I'd actually left in a full-blown raging hissy fit, calling people names and setting several bushes on fire as I left.

"I'm good now," I answer, settling down on a bench. Piper ambles over and plops down next to me. "That kid just rubs me the wrong way, y'know?"

"Yeah, I figured as much," she says, nudging me in the ribs. "Seriously, though, nobody else seemed to get as pissed off as you did back there." She gives me a sidelong glance as she pushes a strand of her uneven hair behind her ear. "Any particular...trigger?"

"I didn't like the way he was talking to you," I mumble stroppily, and it might've been a trick of the light, or my eyes playing jokes on me, but I'll swear to anyone that I caught the quickest triumphant grin that flitted across her face when I said this.

"Didn't peg you for the jealous type, Valdez," she says off-handedly.

My face sours, but I don't comment.

"Oh, come on, I'm just messing around, Leo," she cajoles me with a smile.

"Have you been having any weird dreams lately?" Damn it! I didn't mean to say that out loud. Traitorous mouth and vocal cords and lungs...

"Um, that sure wasn't out of nowhere," Piper remarks with a raised eyebrow and a strange, almost reluctant expression on her face. "I had one last night where I stopped a bank robbery by shooting the robber, only to get arrested for murder, but I don't think that's what you're talking about."

"No, it's nothing, I guess," I say, slumping down. I must be messed up in the brain. Deciding to change the subject, I reach under the table closest to us and into a drawer. "Wanna see something cool?"

"Define 'cool,'" Piper responds warily. I pull out a pair of devices that look suspiciously like... "Are these smart phones?"

"Nope, even better," I proclaim with a grin. "These puppies are demigod-friendly communication devices with a wide array of applications which can be downloaded for free, depending on the demigod owner's preferences."

As Piper takes the gadget and flips it around, checking out the sleek shape and design, I continue telling her about the features. "This bad boy'll get a signal anywhere on, above, or below Earth, but don't hold me to that in the Underworld, I haven't tried it there, yet...it's undetectable by monsters, it automatically hacks into wireless databases so that you can download music, apps, books, you know, general awesome crap like that. And it's got a 6.5 megapixel camera on the front and back with an insane zoom and a great flash."

"What's it called?" Piper finally asks.

"The Leo Valdez is a Badass, version fifteen, or LVBA-15 for short," I say proudly. "I've been waiting for the Hunt to get here to finally put the first two online."

"Version 15," Piper says slowly. "What happened to the other fourteen?"

"Uh, blew up, blew up," I say, ticking them off on my fingers, "sucked into a rip in the space-time continuum, caught fire, the next nine blew up, and I dropped the last one in the toilet when I was looking at fanfiction..."

The last one catches her off-guard. "The _toilet_, Valdez?"

"Well, sometimes it takes awhile..."

"Nevermind, I'm sorry I asked," Piper mutters. "So you're sure this won't blow up in my face?"

"Nope," I assure her confidently. "The LVBA-14 is the one that I got all the kinks worked out of, and the 15 is just the 14 but with ultra-waterproofing up to twenty-thousand leagues and an infinite power source." I grin at her. "So, you ready to try it, or what?"

Piper gives the device a dubious glance, and I almost think that she's going to refuse. Then, she looks up at me with that million-drachma smile of hers. "Sure. I trust you, Leo. Let's test these babies out."

We head outside, and all the while, my chest is filled with some strange and wonderful emotion that warms me up the way even my fire can't achieve. The fact that Piper trusts me enough to try out a potentially dangerous invention, of which several of its prototypes have spontaneously exploded, does something that only my mother's love has done.

It makes me truly happy.

**A/N: **Yeah, yeah, soppy, I know. I don't give a fuck. I'm a sucker for romance, even if I can't find a decent girlfriend to save my freakin' life. I live vicariously through fanfiction, and if you don't like it, well...well, I can't do anything about that. So we find ourselves at an impasse.

Anyway, we finally meet Marcus Jackson in this chapter! Is he a prick, or what? I'm going to have an exceedingly fun time writing him, because I get to dust off my inner douchebag, which I haven't used in an awfully long time. I know many of you will hate me for introducing the little fella, but he is an integral part of a plotline that I'm currently coming up with as I go along. Think about _that_.

As for Poseidon's obvious confusion, well...if you've read Pertemis, then you'll probably know where this is going in the short-term. In the long-term, however...hohoho! You have no idea. I'm a-cookin' a-somethin' up that'll knock a-you socks off (that was an Italian accent, if you didn't get it)!

Also, and I cannot say this for sure, but I might be able to incorporate some OFC (original fictional characters, in case you didn't know) demigods into the Cavalry and the Hunt, so if you have any ideas, send them to me in either a PM or a review, and I will see what I can do. Remember, I said I _might_ be able to fit them into my story, so I'm not promising anything. And even if I do, they'll probably only be minor characters and bit parts. Then again, who's to say for certain, right?

Alas, this rambly author's note is coming to a close, so thank you for all your support, and please review. Your reviews...they sustain me!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **And I'm back! This is one really long chapter, and I wrote it all in about a day, maybe two. I don't know where it came from, I really don't care. Might be the fact that I've been smoking more weed, might be the fact that I've stopped smoking cigarettes...I dunno. But whatever it is, you can thank that for this newest 'double-chapter'update. It's long as shit, one of my longest chapters ever. I probably should have cut it into two chapters, but I'm feeling a little guilty for making y'all wait for so long, so whatever.

In this chapter, Artemis goes to visit an old friend, Piper has a weird dream (not _that_ kind, you pervs!), Percy sees the smallest amount of potential in Mark (like, seriously the _smallest_ amount you can think of) right before he and Artemis have a little convo about whodunnit, we get a bit of insight into Mark's life (because in all the many fanfics I've read in which the author brings in a little douchebro for Percy, I have _never_ seen anyone try to flesh out the douchebro as a character, other than as a pawn in the obviously grand plotlines they have *cough* I'mbeingsarcastic *cough*), and then he gets kidnapped by Chaos. It's really long. Trust me, get a bag of chips and a Big Gulp from 7-11 before you sit down to read this doozy.

Whatever. Read it if you want, or don't. I really don't care (this is bluster. I obviously care!)

**Disclaimer: **My dreams are all dead and buried. Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode. But when God comes and calls me to his Kingdom, I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go! I don't ooown a goddamn thing...

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Chapter 6: Tendrils of Memory and Tangents of Fate

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ARTEMIS

As one of the few virgin goddesses, I have made it a point to be able to defend my honor as a maiden. One of the few times I was unable to defend myself, I was forced to hold up the sky in the titan Atlas' place for several weeks.

Therefore, it is only natural that after this event, I forced myself into a much more rigorous training regimen. A new aspect of such training was learning a bit of the magical arts from the goddess of the occult, Hecate. Hecate and I share a rather unorthodox relationship. She and I, along with my predecessor, Selene, make up the cycle of the moon. I, as the maiden, represent the waxing moon. Selene, as the mother, represents the full moon. Hecate, as the child-nurse, represents the waning moon.

As a godling, I was unable to seek assistance from most of the elder goddesses in dealing with my ever-growing power. Hera despised me, as an illegitimate daughter of Zeus. Demeter had already lost her Persephone, and was usually inconsolable. Aphrodite would pester me about renouncing my vow of celibacy, which is quite impossible, as it was sworn to my father upon the River Styx, so I couldn't go back on my word even if I wanted to. Athena was a great help, but she, too, was distracted by other matters. Selene and Hecate were my main sources of comfort and wisdom.

Since Selene's Fading, whenever I have a problem that I cannot solve on my own (which is rather rare nowadays), I turn to the waning moon for guidance. Hecate also happens to be the daughter of my mother's sister, which only strengthens our bond.

Hecate does not live on Olympus, as many other deities do. Many of the rituals and potions she creates are a bit...questionable to the self-righteous morals of my father and the others, so she takes her residence in a cave resting high upon a formation known locally as the Devil's Tower. I myself hold a few doubts concerning Hecate's tendencies, but she is still a being that I have looked up to in the past, and still do, to a certain degree.

The Devil's Tower is located in the state of Wyoming, and it is a true marvel of nature. I do not understand the concepts of the humans who claim that they know how it came to be. Suffice it to say that it is a colossal finger of stone which juts up out of the already high landscape. It is the perfect place for Hecate to perform her work.

I transport myself just outside the mouth of Hecate's cave and send a small beacon of silvery light to announce my presence. Very soon, I hear the soft patter of bare feet smacking against stone, and presently, Hecate appears.

She is very lovely, and like me, she is a virgin deity. Her hair is dark and long, and her pale lavender eyes glint with powers beyond even my comprehension.

"Ah, Artemis, how wonderful to see you again," she calls when she sees who is outside her threshold.

"Hello, Hecate," I answer back, bowing slightly to show respect to my elder. Her cool palm against my cheek lifts me out of my hunched position.

"Dear me, I should think it unfitting for an Olympian to bow to little old me," she titters, gesturing me to follow her in.

"It is only natural for me to pay respect where it is due, cousin," I shoot back. It is an old, playful arguement that we have had many times before.

Her abode is anything but luxurious. Various shelves of stone have been carved out of the cavern's walls to make room for thousands of books, jars and containers of liquids, and objects suspended in more liquid. These, I know, are the ingredients which she coaxes her potions from. Even now, there is a bubbling cauldron of a pale amber liquid in the center of the largest cave.

After checking the brew with a nearby ladle, Hecate offers me a chair near the large table off to the side.

"Is there anything I should be worried about in there?" I ask with a half-smile.

"Oh, that?" Hecate laughs. "It's a pale ale that I'm developing for the Boston Beer Company. Would you care for a sip?" I shake my head politely, and she shrugs. "I've made several beers for them, and I get a vast share of the profits. Those mortals _do_ enjoy their alcohol."

"Yes, and several gods as well," I mutter dryly, thinking of Dionysus and Perseus.

"Ah, nevermind such drivel," she demurs. "Tell me, Artemis. What brings you 'round to my neck of the woods?"

"Do you, perchance, have that lovely memory device of yours handy?" I answer her question with another question.

"Ah, yes, one of my children's creations," Hecate waves her hand, and a small, circular basin with a silvery substance partway between gas and liquid floats over to the table. "My dear Pernelle Flamel and her Penseives. Would you like me to extract the memory for you?"

"No, I am quite adept at it by now, thank you," I say, and put a finger to my temple. A shining strand of thought clings to my digit as I pull away, and drop it into the penseive. "I'd like for you to look closely at this memory and tell me what you think."

Hecate nods and dips her head into the bowl. I sit quietly and ponder aimless thoughts as I wait. Like what Perseus was playing at when he thanked me. He knew that I did not offer to investigate on his behalf, and yet he did it anyway, bold as brass. What is his game, I wonder?

Before I can contemplate further, Hecate resurfaces, looking troubled. "Poseidon is under some sort of supernatural control," she murmured, almost to herself. "If I'm not mistaken, the jagged pupils and the glassy eyes would...hmm."

She flashes quickly over to one of the many book-laden shelves, plucks a tome from the crowd of its brethren, and flashes back to the table, setting it down and poring over the text therein. "Ah," she says, looking up. "This is not good at all. It appears Poseidon has been under the influence of a Mindslave potion and Amortentia for long periods of time. If we were to inspect the Earth-Shaker's back, I have little doubt that he would have multiple blue-hued lesions down his spine, which is a major side-effect of said potions being used in tandem."

"Do you have any idea who might have subjected him to these substances?" I ask uneasily. "And are they really powerful enough to influence one of the Big Three?"

"If brewed by the right person, these potions could bring Tartarus itself under someone's power," Hecate intones gravely. "And at the moment, I do not have the slightest clue as to who would do such a thing."

We are silent for a moment, each processing what we've just learned. Then she looks up and gives me a small smile. "Rest assured, Artemis, I _shall_ look into this for you, and we will bring whoever it is to justice."

I nod back to her, and thank her immensely, then take my leave, wondering who would even have the motive to undertake such a feat.

**[****THIS IS A PAGE BREAK****]**

PIPER

_It's only been three weeks, but I already hate the Wilderness School that my father's stupid assistant found to stick me in. The girls are snooty, the boys are pricks, and I'm pretty sure some of the teachers are clinically insane._

_The _only_ reason (and I mean that literally) that I haven't run away or something is sitting at the park bench in a far corner of the schoolyard. Leo Valdez is short, maybe an inch taller than me..._maybe_. His wildly curly hair and witty, root beer-brown eyes, along with his small stature and usually mischievous grin, make him look more like a Mexican elf than anything else, but he's done what nobody else has ever done before in recent memory. He's become my friend._

_As I walk up behind him, I notice that he's drumming his fingers on the tabletop distractedly. It takes me a moment to figure out that it has a pattern. Morse code. During a history project, when we were paired together, I noticed that he would do it every so often and asked him about it. It took some doing, but eventually, he was able to teach me enough that I could construct some shaky sentences of my own._

_After standing behind him awhile and deciphering what he's tapping out, I frown. _I miss you. _What's that all about?_

_So, after forming a response in my head, I cross into his blind spot and tap it out on the table. _Already?_ I hope it's funny enough for his standards, as he's quite the jester. His reaction isn't what I'm expecting._

_He jumps, startled, and turns to me with a hopelessly hopeful expression that looks wildly out of place on his normally good-humored face. When he sees that it's me, his shoulders slump, but he recovers quickly and gives me a half-hearted smile._

"_Hey, Pipes," he mutters, settling back into his previously slumped posture. I slide onto the bench next to him and give him my best anoyed look._

"_Don't call me that," I say, and he shrugs indifferently, shooting me a grin. But when I continue staring at him, it falters. "So, what's with the 'I miss you' Morse code?"_

_He flushes in embarrassment and turns away. "Nothing," he answers a little gruffly. I frown, and then grab his chin and force him to look at me._

"_Tell me," I all but command, and to my astonishment, he starts talking, albeit in a halting, bashful, and completely adorable way._

"_It's the..." he pauses, and looks at me as though I'm going to laugh at him, yell at him, or both. "It's the anniversary of..." At this point, he actually flinches, as if somebody's going to hit him. "...of my, uh, my mom."_

_He trails off, and I instantly feel horrible about making him tell me something so personal. My face must be a combination of pity and horror, because when he sees it, his face hardens, and he turns back to study the grain of the wooden table._

_In the little time I've known him, I've learned that he and I are remarkably similar, and I know that I'd hate it if anyone tried to be all sympathetic towards me if I told them that my mom had died. Of course he'd be tapping it out in Morse Code, the secret language he and his mom used._

_So, like the good friend that I am, I tug at his arm, pulling him up off the bench and lead him toward the cafeteria. He gives me a startled, confused look, and I say, "C'mon, Valdez. It's taco day. You can stuff your face with meat while I feel bad about it for you."_

_He gives me a calculating look, then smiles. A real, proper smile, too, not just some forced grin or an impish smirk. "You're on, Veggie Queen."_

_At this, I stop in my tracks. "Veggie Queen?" I ask blankly._

_He considers it and shrugs. "You're right. Doesn't quite fit." Then he grins and grabs my hand. "Dont' worry, I'll work on it._

_The scene fades, and time moves on..._

_I'm in gym class, with all the other girls, getting on with the warm-up stretches that the coach had us do while she went to go grab her attendance sheet, forgotten in her office. The boys are on the other side, getting ready to do laps with the quite obviously insane Coach Hedge._

_It's actually the only time Leo and I are apart these days, other than...y'know, when we're in the dorms or sleeping and whatnot. We've got all the same classes, and whenever we've got free time, we spend it with each other._

_As we finish the stretches, I spot Leo jogging over toward us casually, as though he weren't breaking every one of Coach Hedge's rules by coming over to where the girls are working._

"_Hey, Pipes!" I give him the same stern look I always do when he calls me that, but there's no real anger behind it. I actually kinda like it, but don't tell anyone that. I'm pretty sure Leo just does it to try and get a rise out of me._

_"What's up, Valdez?" I say, trying to sound upset, but failing comically. I walk over a few steps to meet him halfway so that he's not the only one to get in trouble if we get caught. I silently resist flipping the whispering girls behind me the finger, and feel proud of myself when I beat back that particular impulse._

"_The sky," is his immediate answer, followed closely by, "Also clouds, satellites, Superman...I think I just heard Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet fly past, too."_

"_Ha-ha," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes and pushing his shoulder lightly._

"_Seriously," he chuckles, allowing it to fade into a sort of neutral expression as he shoves his hands into his pockets. "We need to talk. It's...kind of important."_

_I notice the somber mood in his carriage quickly, and prepare to hear whatever it is he has to say._

"_Uh, not now," he responds quickly, glancing behind me at the girls who are still muttering and gossiping about us. "Later. Uh, maybe tonight, on the roof? There's that star thing happening, right?"_

_I feel my eyebrows lift and my cheeks start to grow warm. I try not to look as nervous as the sudden storm of butterflies in my stomach would suggest. This is Leo Valdez we're talking about, right? He's not trying to ask me out or anything...is he?_

"_Yeah," I say eventually, "sure thing."_

"_Valdez!" Coach Hedge hollers loud enough for it to hurt my ears. "Don't make me get out there and fetch ya!"_

_Leo simply grins. "Cool," he begins to head over to the track, walking backwards so he can continue the ending conversation. "It's a date, then, Miss Native America." He gives me a sardonic salute and turns to run back toward the track._

A date_, I think dazedly, not even reacting to the retarded nickname he used. _Is that what it is?

_The night's beautiful, with the twinkling stars shedding a bit of light on the darkened world while the moon, very nearly full, shines down and cast everything in a silvery glow. When I get to the roof, Leo's already there, staring off into the distance as the first of the meteorites begin to burn up into the atmosphere, creating dazzling streaks against the jet-colored backdrop._

"_Nice night," I say to catch his attention. He turns and greets me with the same mischievous grin he wears when he's in a good mood. I walk forward, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear nervously. Tonight, I figured that I might let my hair loose from the two braids that I normally keep them in. No particular reason, not at all..._

"_Sure is," he answers, looking up at the shooting stars as he exhales deeply, balancing himself on the balls of his feet and swinging back and forth in place. "So..."_

_He seems to be stuck, so I help him along. "You wanted to tell me something?"_

_He nods, then looks down at his shoes. "Here's the thing. I-I'm not some sort of freak or anything." I give him a puzzled look as his fists clench and his face pulls into a wince. I can almost hear him shouting, _Stupid, stupid! _in his head. "I mean, that sounds worse than it really is. Then again...I dunno, it might be pretty bad, I-"_

_I almost smile at this nervous wreck who can't possibly be Leo. So I snap my fingers in front of his face. "Focus, Valdez."_

"_Right, sorry. I just-maybe I should just show you." Confused, I lean in as he rubs his hands together and breaths deeply. "Promise...promise not to freak out." Now I'm really curious. He looks down at his hands in apparent concentration._

_After a moment, to my utter astonishment, a small flame springs to life in his cupped hands. I let out an unconscious gasp as I feel the heat radiating out from the small fire. I can tell that this is an intensely personal thing for Leo, and it's completely amazing._

"_That's...incredible!"_

"_R-really?"_

_I move my eyes from the flickering firelight to his face, shrouded in surprise and shadow, and give him my widest smile, unable to express how proud I am to have someone as special as he is in my life. "Leo, it's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. It's...beautiful."_

"_Just like you, Beauty Queen," he whispers quietly. I think it might've been meant only for himself, but I feel my eyes widen in surprise, and he flinches when he realizes that I heard him. "I mean...ummm-"_

_Before he can ruin this moment with his stupid Leo-ness, I lean forward and kiss him, effectively shutting him up. And so it is that I share my first kiss with a Mexican elf while the blazing stars fall from the sky._

_As the scene fades into darkness, the last thing I'm aware of are how warm his lips are, and how much I actually _like_ that nickname..._

With a gasp, I shoot up into a sitting position, panting as though I've just run a mile from a chimaera. It takes me a moment to remember where the hell I am, and in that moment, Thalia rises from her bunk across from mine in the Artemis Cabin.

"Piper," she whispers groggily, half getting out of her bed. "You alright?"

I catch my breath and remove my hand from where it had been clutched above my heart. "Yeah," I breathe back. "Just a dream."

Thalia gives me a worried glance, but accepts my response. "Alright. Goodnight." She lays back down, and in a few seconds, her deep, rhythmic breathing signals her fall back into dreamland.

Sighing, I lay back down, too. My mind is racing, though, and it takes me a long time to get back to sleep. Was it just a dream? I quickly dismiss it, because it felt too _real _for it to be a simple dream. As I think more, I come to a startling conclusion. Were those my memories of Wilderness School _before_ Hera screwed with my mind to make me think that I was in love with Jason? The star shower had been our first kiss, but maybe it hadn't been Jason who I'd shared it with.

Could it be that I've been in love with Leo Valdez the whole time? Gah, why the hell can't my love life be simple?

Oh...right. Daughter of Aphrodite.

**[****THIS IS ALSO A PAGE BREAK****]**

GENERAL 3RD PERSON

In a separate dimension above Manhattan, high up on the peak of Mount Olympus, Aphrodite squeals in delight. Off to the side, on a sofa of black satin, and apparently in gentle repose, is a beautiful, sleeping man with black wings folded against his back. A lovely, middle-aged woman with pale, silvery hair and eyes of pure white stands at her shoulder.

As she watches the bowl of water that shows her current favorite child, Aphrodite hears a dull, repetitive clunking noise that instantly alerts her to her husband's approach.

True to form, in a few moments, Aprhodite smiles when she hears Hephaestus' gravelly voice. "What are you _doing_, Aphrodite? Can't you just leave it alone?"

"Not likely," the silver-haired woman responds wryly.

"Oh, hush, Mnemosyne," Aphrodite chides softly. "Just imagine how wonderful they'll look together when all is said and done."

"Do you remember what happened to the last son of Hephaestus and daughter of Aphrodite you tried bringing together?" Hephaestus demands angrily. "Charlie was a good lad, and Silena wasn't _too_ horrible, for one of your children. And they both _died_because of your meddling!"

At once, Aphrodite spins to face her husband, eyes flashing dangerously. Mnemosyne steps back a few paces warily, and even the slumbering god, Morpheus, snorts and shifts uncomfortably in his sleep. The goddess of love is not someone that one should make an enemy of lightly.

But Hephaestus stands his ground as best he can, his chin thrusting out defiantly against his wife.

"You know that it wasn't because of me that Silena and Charles died," she mutters slowly and carefully, pain etched into her blindingly beautiful visage. "I wish that I could have done more for them in life. At least they are happy together on the Isle of the Blessed."

Hephaestus' shoulders slump sadly, and he sighs as he averts his eyes. "I know. I apologize." Then he turns to face Aphrodite once more. "But how can you be certain that the same thing won't happen to these two? Leo is a good kid. He reminds me so much of his mother...and Piper has a good head on her shoulders."

"All the more reason to bring them together," Aphrodite responds softly, placing a gentle hand on Hephaestus' broad shoulder. "Hera screwed with my plans initially, but with Morpheus' and Mnemosyne's help, I think we've gotten things back on track." Then she grins deviously, and Hephaestus' countenance becomes suspicious.

"What's with that look?" he grunts warily.

"Oh, nothing," Aphrodite responds lightly. "It's just that now that I've gotten my daughter's love life all set, I can set my sights on more...godly targets."

Hephaestus watches as she vanished in a sparkle of multicolored glitter, and makes sure to remember to warn Percy to watch his ass for a certain love goddess.

**[****WHEN SUDDENLY, A WILD PAGE BREAK APPEARS!****]**

Now, most people would think that running a camp full of children is stressful. Bitch, please. Try running a camp full of children who all have preternatural abilities, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, and run around whacking each other with swords and spears all day for fun. Your argument is invalid.

To be honest, it's not as difficult as one may think, especially seeing as how I'm a god, and if I can't get 'em to behave like a nice person, I can go all fire and brimstone on their little asses. That can be kinda fun, really.

At the moment, I'm overseeing the newer campers' introduction to swordfighting. Normally, I wouldn't do something like this, but I have a gut feeling that things have a high chance of taking a turn for the worse.

As I watch the Ares cabin's current councelor, a girl named Jessica Martin, slowly go over the basics of swinging a sword, I can't help but let my gaze drift over to Mark. In the few days he's been here, he's caused a bit of a ruckus. And not the good kind, either.

It's just really hard to believe that he's my brother. We're simply too different. I'm pretty positive my mom didn't have a hand in raising him. I know for a fact that if she did have a major part in his upbringing, he wouldn't be such a...well, he's family, and I don't talk bad about family (but he's a douche with a capital 'bag,' if you get what I'm saying).

The other day, I heard him bragging about how he killed the Minotaur all on his own, and was the greatest fighter in the history of the world. I let it slide. I heard him boasting of how many of the hellhounds he'd dusted before the Cavalry and the Hunt came to 'rescue him.' Hand to God, he actually made air quotes when he said that we rescued him. I didn't do anything to him.

See, the thing is, he's kind of a loner. Nobody wants to hang out with him because of his...ah...unfortunate condition (i.e. being a gaping asshole). It seems that the more the kids in camp shun him, the more he tries to impress everyone with his fallacious attitude. I feel kinda bad for the little guy, and as his older brother, it's my job to help him out in any way I can.

I'm shaken from my thoughts when Jessica calls up two of the new campers to take place in a mock-spar. One is a daughter of Nike named Winona, while the other is a son of Hermes called Ross.

Winona opens with a horizontal slash, which Ross ducks under. But Winona was expecting some resistance, and spins around in a full revolution, her blunted sword aiming right for Ross' neck as he rises from his crouch. Now, despite the fact that the blade's edge isn't keen enough to break the skin, it's still heavy enough that if it hits, there will be a good chance that the weight behind the swing could snap his neck.

I take all of the expressions in at once. Both Winona and Ross wear identical masks of horror and fear. The other campers look on apprehensively, and Jessica's already drawing her own sword to try and help. It won't make a difference, though; she's too far away to be of any real use in this situation.

I'm about to jump in to run interference, but to my surprise, Mark darts in with his own practice sword, pushing Winona's upward and out of her hands, his face a study in concentration and worry. So the little fella actually has a heart after all. Hidden behind the copse of trees near the arena, I can't stop the grin that pulls my lips upward.

Then the idiot has to ruin it. "Watch where you're swinging, Winona!" he yells. "You could have broken Ross' neck! And Ross, you should have obviously parried the swing and riposted toward her leg! Am I surrounded by idiots?"

I palm my face. Well, at least there's _some _potential in him, and it's my job to bring that potential out in him.

I'm about to go out and surprise everyone when a discreet flash of silvery light blooms to my left, and I dart back, halfway drawing Aphros. Artemis' form solidifies, and I relax my grip on the longsword. Damn, I'm really starting to get paranoid.

Artemis takes in our surroundings, then raises an eyebrow. "Spying on twelve-year-olds, Perseus? I thought you were into older women?"

I grin, wink at her, and simply say, "I am." She flushes in embarrassment, and I decide to spare her any further. "So, how did the visit to Hecate's go?"

She schools her features and says, "Hecate believes that Poseidon is under the influence of two powerful potions. One, the Mindslave Draught, brings the drinker under almost complete control of whoever it is who gave it to them, while the other, Amortentia, is one of the most potent love potions in existence."

I hum thoughtfully as all sorts of different possibilities flash across my mind. "Does she have any idea who might have slipped him the potions?"

"Not at the moment, no," Artemis says, frowning. "Though I have several theories that could fit." Then she takes another look around the forest. "Could we continue this in the Big House?"

"Yeah, sure," I agree, and we flash over to said location, settling into one of the rooms in the back. "So, what are your hypotheses?"

"The first, and most obvious, suspect is Amphitrite," the Huntress says matter-of-factly; that was my first guess, too. "But Amphitrite can be discarded because she, like Hera, loathes any and all illegitimate children begotten by her husband."

I nod in acceptance, so she continues, "Then, and much less likely, is that somehow, Medusa respawned from Tartarus and managed to sneak Poseidon these potions as retribution. This, however, is unlikely, as I said, because you yourself destroyed her only a few decades ago, and a monster of Medusa's caliber would take much longer than that to reform."

"Okay, so those are two theories potentially disproven in just under a minute," I say. "What else do you have, Arty?"

I'm not expecting her to actually throw one of her arrows at me, and it hits me in the face before I can react. The arrowhead breaks open, and some sort of sticky, slimy goo seals my lips shut.

"I had Hephaestus create those specifically to silence you," she states dispassionately as she gives me a deadpan stare. "The sludge degrades when exposed to oxygen at a steady rate, and will wear off in perhaps two hours, but is otherwise imperturbable, even for a god. You will have to stay quiet for the time being."

I can't particularly pout without the use of my mouth, so I settle for giving her a reproachful glare, which she actually chuckles at. She's literally laughing at my misfortune!

"The following theories are even more farfetched," she says, as if she didn't just glue my mouth closed. "One, is that one of your past enemies have hatched a diabolical plan for revenge. The most likely suspect is Circe, as you were the cause of the destruction of her spa. I was actually quite displeased when I arrived at her island only to find it in ruins, you know," she adds with a disapproving frown. "I quite liked the hot rock massages there."

I gesticulate wildly that it wasn't my fault in the least, and that Circe had turned me into a freakin' hamster, but without sound, I'm basically just flailing around like an idiot.

"Then there is the troubling disappearance of the Giant Ephialtes during the final battle. It could be that Gaea, in order to preserve her last offspring, turned him into some small animal and allowed him to escape our notice until now. Perhaps this is his way of beginning his plans to overthrow us."

At this point, Artemis is basically just postulating aloud while I, her captive audience, am forced to listen to the ramblings, so I just sulk in my seat while she keeps up her monologue.

"But for what purpose?" she mutters introspectively. "What is the endgame of this strategy?"

And to that question, I couldn't answer, even if I did have full use of my mouth.

**[****THIS IS ANOTHER PAGE BREAK****]**

MARCUS

"Get outta here, you jerk-wad!" one of the Ares kids shouts at me, and the others take up the challenge.

"Yeah, nobody wants you around, douching up the place! Get lost!"

I consider showing them how much of a jerk I can _really _be, but if they're too blinded by their own incompetence to see how great I am, then that's just too bad. Stalking off toward the sea, I leave the sword arena.

I can't believe that I just saved that loser Hermes boy, and nobody thanks me. No one has the common courtesy to apologize for acting like assholes to me for the last few days. My father told me that this is the place all demigods fit in. Apparently all generalizations are false. Including this one.

As I hit the beach, I flop down onto the sand and tug off my shoes and socks. The sea always makes me feel better, no matter how foul of a mood I'm in. As I walk into the surf, my mind goes blank as it's enveloped by a sense of supreme calm.

Sometimes I wish that I had never been born, or that my parents were normal humans. My life has been difficult enough as it is, never having known my mother, and having a father who shows up sporadically at best. I lived the majority of my life in foster homes, moving here and there because of the odd monster attack. My father would come to me periodically, give me a gift of some sort, and we would talk for a bit before he left once more. He told me that I would be the greatest there ever was, more powerful than Zeus himself. He always had a strange, distant look in his eyes, though, but I chalked it up to just another godly thing.

And now, here I am, shunned by the rest of the camp and hated by all.

Except for that 'brother' of mine. He is very troubling. I've always had a knack for knowing what other people think about me; it's one of the reasons I feel as though I am a little bit better than them, always judging me and scorning me. Bah, who are they to do so when they themselves are just as bad as they make me out to be!

But from Perseus (I refuse to acknowledge his repeated attempts at getting me to call him by that stupid nickname. He's a _god_ for Christ's sake! At least have _some_ dignity) all I can sense from him is a sort of conflicting mixture of disappointment and pride. He's obviously too hopped up on the marijuana to understand the situation. And he can't die because he's immortal, so he won't overdose on the vile plant. Honestly, _what_ the Olympian Council was thinking when they deified him...

As I lay half in the surf, a resonant voice calls out to me. "Marcus Jackson," it says, and I turn around, finding a graceful being unlike any other I've seen before in my life. "What would I tell you if I said I could give you infinite power, power to crush all your enemies and swat your brother like an annoying insect?"

My immediate answer is, "I'd say, 'come again?' and then I'd laugh because I said 'come.'"

The figure facepalms and mutters, "Like brother like...brother, I suppose. Come with me, and I will grant you such power."

My pulse quickens as I take this incredible being's hand, and with a flash of heat and light, we're gone.

**[****THIS IS A PAGE BREAK AS WELL****]**

PERCY

"Hey, Perce," Grover greets me. He's truly grown into his title as the Lord of the Wild since it was given to him. His face, wreathed in a full, curly beard, has become more noble, and he's grown taller than the average satyr, so that he's almost six and a half feet tall. His cloak, made of woven leaves, draped across his broad shoulders, and his circlet of laurels sits proudly on his dark hair. He's still a really big dork who eats tin cans when nervous, though, and I'm glad that he hasn't changed very much.

He looks around at the general chaos around camp, then back at me curiously. "What's going on?"

"You know my little brother, Mark?" I ask, and he nods. "Yeah, he went missing."

Grover rolls his eyes to accompany his bleating chuckle. "Seriously? He reminds me of you, causing all and sundry chaos as soon as you get to camp."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, wise guy," I grouse. "So do you wanna help look for him, or what?"

"Sure, I guess," he says, still chortling heartily, and we start heading out to search for the little idiot. Hopefully, he just fell asleep in a tree or something and I'm overreacting. But when you factor in all the shennanigans I've been a part of, as well as my family's luck, well...it's better to be safe than sorry, as the saying goes.

The search goes on for another few minutes before a dryad appears before me in a swirl of leaves and bows to Grover and I. "My lords, I have news," she says, and after a nod from me, she continues in a rush, "One of the oaks by the beach spotted young Marcus heading into the waves, then an unknown being of immense power appeared, spoke briefly with your brother, and then vanished with him."

"Did he put up a fight?" I ask hesitantly.

"No, there was no struggle of any kind. The dryad believes that your brother left with the being willingly, and was not taken by force."

I sigh. "Well, shit. Thank you very much for the information." The dryad nods and disappears on the breeze. "First I find out my dad's been enthralled by a few potions, and now my friggin' brother gets taken by some 'being of immense power.' Do you think the Fates are after me for some reason?"

Grover shrugs unhelpfully. "Maybe you're just the universe's spitoon." I give him a weird look, so he elaborates. "Yeah, what if the universe simply likes to spit on you for the fact that you exist?"

"Gee, that makes me feel a _lot_ better," I grumble. "You think you and Chiron can hold the fort here for a bit? I need to call an emergency meeting of the Olympian Council, and you know how they are about emergency meetings."

Grover grimaces; as the Lord of the Wild and Pan's successor, he is something of an honorary Olympian and so he knows all the ins and outs of the council just as well as I do. He nods, and claps me on the back. "Good luck, Percy."

"Thanks, G-man." And with that, I flash myself to Zeus' palace on Olympus.

**[****THIS, TOO, IS A PAGE BREAK****]**

STILL PERCY

Fuck those gods!

I help them take down Titans, Giants, and who the hell else knows what, and when I ask them to help me look for my little brother, they snub their noses at me and say that it's _beneath _them? What the hell do they have to do that requires so much of their time and attention? I mean, I get my stupid godly duties out of the way while I'm _stoned_. They can't be so strapped for time that they can't take a few minutes to look around for a demigod, can they?

I teleport down to a deserted piece of tundra in the middle of Antarctica and just let _loose_. The entire continent shudders, and glaciers as old as the gods themselves crumble to pieces under the sheer power of my fury. The sheer energy output from my body melts the ice beneath me, and with a thought, I float above the slurry-filled half-circle created by the aura of godly might surrounding me. Soon, I can feel deep tremors shake the ice and the ground beneath it, but I don't care. Maybe those stupid gods need some global warming to get them off their asses.

Just as I'm about to send a bolt of pure tectonic energy spiralling down into the earth, I feel a small hand on my shoulder. I whirl around, preparing myself to disintegrate whoever is foolish enough to bother me, but I stop short when my eyes meet the silvery irises of none other than Artemis, one of the few beings I'd ever stop myself from annihiliating.

Instead, I grind out, "_What_?" through gritted teeth. She remains impressively stoic when faced with my anger, and removes her hand, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I would highly recommend that you refrain from shaking Antarctica to smithereens," she says neutrally, though there's a bit of dryness to her tone. "I doubt your father would appreciate several hundred thousand tons of ice simply falling into his domain in so many seconds."

"Fuck him," I snap. "And the rest of those bastards. Can't even bother with a lost little kid, can they?"

Artemis sighs and closes her eyes, using one of her hands to rub the bridge of her nose. "I came here to help you, Perseus, but if you continue to insult my father and brother, I will be forced to retaliate."

I think about mouthing off again, but she's actually considering helping me, so I decide to bite the bullet. "I'm sorry. It's just..." I let out a gusty sigh. "He's my brother, y'know?"

"Yes, I do know," Artemis says, snapping her fingers and conjuring us a nice little igloo, complete with cushy chairs and a bonfire in the center. The smoke trails out of a wide hole at the top, and she watches some of the dark tendrils waft gently upward before speaking. "From my Hunters, I have gathered that Marcus Jackson is an obnoxious, self-centered, entirely unenjoyable person. This is almost exactly how I would describe Apollo to a stranger."

I open my mouth, but she silences me with a threatening wave of one of her sticky arrows and I shut my trap real quick. "I understand the strain of having an imcompetent, big-headed younger brother, Perseus. I also know that being an elder sibling is a responsibility, and that no matter how much of a complete dunderhead your younger sibling is, they are still _yours_ and you must protect them no matter what. This instinct must have faded from the elder gods, as their youngest sibling has become the most powerful being in existence and so needs no protection. But this instinct remains strong in me, and so I will help you."

"Not all of the elder gods have forsaken their instinct, Niece," a thin, child-like voice drifts toward us like a mote of smoke from the fire. Artemis and I look around the fire and find Hestia waving at us with a cheerful smile adorning her face and making her burning eyes sparkle merrily.

"Lady Hestia," we both say, bowing deeply. Hestia is one of the few gods that I have absolute respect for. She's just so much more...mature than the others.

"Don't mind me, just tending the fire," she says, waving off our bows. "But you would do well to remember that I am the eldest child of Rhea and Kronos. My younger sisters and brothers are some of the most rambunctious creatures I have ever known, so I can sympathize with you on the woes of the young ones."

"Forgive me, Lady Hestia," Artemis murmurs, "but why are you here?"

"Was I interrupting something, perhaps?" Hestia asks innocently, and laughs heartily when Artemis blushes crimson. "I came to offer a bit of assistance, since I know that you aren't going to get any from the rest of the Council."

She reaches into the long sleeve of her robe and withdraws a small compass. Holding it out for me, she continues. "This is a little project I worked on with my nephew, Hephaestus. If you place a drop of ichor onto the center of the needle, it will point in the direction of anyone who shares the same blood as you, meaning one with the same father and mother. Don't worry about whether or not you and your brother have the same blood; your apotheosis has not affected your DNA at all. When you are within a two-mile radius of the person, it will glow slightly. I would go with you myself and help, but _someone _needs to tend the hearth, and I find myself somewhat reluctant to hand off my duties to someone like Hera or Zeus."

I accept the device gratefully and say, "You don't know how grateful I am, Hestia. Thank you so much."

"Do not worry too much about it, Percy," she replies with a stunning smile. "I'm sure that you'll find a way to make it up to me someday." And in a flash of flame that melts the igloo completely, Hestia vanishes.

**A/N: **Aaaand, it's gone. So, there you have it. And now for a riddiculously long author's note for a riddiculously long chapter. You don't have to read it, these are just my thoughts about the chapter, so you can just say _oh, fuck this twat, who does he think he is, acting like I want to hear about what he thinks_.

But anyway, I think it's pretty fun to try and think up how the gods would interact with one another, don't you? I always imagined that Hecate and Artemis would get along fairly well...at least, for goddesses, anyway. And yes, I've lifted yet more ideas from J.K. Rowling. She's got a few good ones left, I think. Didn't care too much for the whole Horcrux thing, but who am I to argue with one of the richest women in the world, right? Me, who has...quite literally five pennies to his name.

The dream sequence with Piper is based largely upon a Leo/Piper fanfiction called _Morse Code_, which is the story that brought me on board that particular ship. Trust me, I've got a whole armada of useless ships in my fanfiction military, and Leo/Piper is by far not the weirdest (Kiba/Sakura, anyone?). Regardless, you should check it out, it's very good.

But thanks to Aphrodite's meddling, Piper's gotten the majority of her memories from Wilderness School back, and we'll see how she copes with them next chapter. I have a lot of good ideas concerning how the two of them will get together and Artemis' reaction to the whole thing.

As the eldest brother to nine siblings, I sometimes spy on my little sisters and brothers, just to see what they're up to, and Percy is definitely a spying older brother. He can't help it, it's just in his nature. And in the past few decades, Artemis has discovered how much of a windbag Percy is with his little witty one-liners, so she has Hephaestus make her something that'll shut him the fuck up for a bit. It'll become the stick in her 'stick and carrot' training for Percy later on.

So...tell me how I did with Mark's POV. I'm honestly in two minds about it. One part of me thinks I did a pretty good job with it, and is pleased with the result. The other is saying that it's a little too much like Percy's regardless of his douchebaggish mannerisms and personality. I need feedback on this especially, please. My grandpa taught me that no matter how much of an asshole someone is, that asshole has a reason for acting like an asshole. It might just be that they like being an asshole, but it might also be that they've had a pretty bad life, and that being an asshole is the only way they know how to cope with a life that's been an asshole to them. Huh. I've typed asshole seven times in the last couple of sentences...not sure how to feel about that.

Anyway, that's why I decided to insert that little nugget into the story, to begin adding muscle to the skeleton of Mark's character. And I think it would be fun to play around, not just with Marcus, who _will _become a god (official title, God of Sobriety, Ocean Currents, and Islands) as an antagonist, as well as Chaos, but also keep Percy on his toes with a rival in love. Guess who? I'll give a double cyber high-five to anyone who guesses it. One hint: It is a Primordial deity, according to classical Greek mythology.

Regarding Percy's little temper tantrum: Seriously, an angry god can cause some serious shit, people. And it might be a little OOC for PJ&O!Percy, but he's still got some anger issues to deal with, and he needs a healthy outlet for that anger, even if it is almost breaking Antarctica. Swear to God, I had half a mind to do a scene where he performs angry interpretive dance, like in _Footloose _(holy shit, who laughed their asses off when they saw that scene for the first time? I wonder what was going through Kevin Bacon's mind at the time..._I'm so filled with rage, I think I'm gonna burst into interpetive dance!_).

So yeah, anyway, whatever. If you managed to read this whole author's note, then I commend you, because I can't say that I'd do the same thing.

As always, I beg your reviews! _Pleeeeeaaaseeee? Can Fulmedal Wetbak haz reviewz?_


	7. Admission of Defeat

Hey, everyone. So...I've been thinking about this for a very long time, and I've finally come to the conclusion that I can't keep writing fanfiction at the present time. There's too much bullshit going on in my life right now, and I have to deal with all of that before I can even think about frolicking in the fields of fandoms. Maybe sometime in the future, I'll start writing some more, but as of right now, it's just not an option.

Please don't hate me, even though it's fully in your rights to do so. I just had a very close relative pass on, which isn't reason enough to be deleting my profile, but coupled with the fact that my oldest and dearest friend killed himself on Valentine's Day...well, you get the idea.

To all of you who have favorited, followed, or reviewed my stories, thank you. Thank you _so_ much for all the wonderful things and constructive criticisms you've offered me. Also, I apologize with all my heart that I won't be able to continue these tales that you enjoyed, or that I might have disappointed you with this news.

On that note, I would be fully willing to let any of you take the helm and adopt any of my stories. I would hate for my fanfics to die; I can't keep up with them, but I put a lot of effort into some of them, while others have just begun, and it breaks my heart that I won't be the one to finish them.

If anyone wants to adopt, please PM me so I can check out your own writing. Be warned, some of these fics have minds of their own, and are very difficult to wrestle into submission; trust me, I know from experience.

Other than that, I wish all of you luck in life,

Fullmetal Wetback


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